“But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”-Matthew 12:36-37, NIV When reconstructing one’s narrative, truth can be both freeing and punishing. It is punishing … Continue reading “Truth as Punishment”
Category: Theology of divorce
Top Three Texts Used To Abuse Faithful Spouses
Having started Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously just last summer, I have had the opportunity to read and hear a variety of faithful spouses’ horror stories with the church. Literally thousands of individuals visit this website monthly from over 110 unique countries around the globe. Themes are starting to emerge. The following are the top 3 most … Continue reading “Top Three Texts Used To Abuse Faithful Spouses”
What if the church treated widows like faithful divorced spouses?
Can you imagine church leaders (or simply other Christians) treating a widow/widower in the same way they treat a faithful spouse who is now divorced from the adulterous one? And before anyone cries “Foul!” on this analogy suggesting that its too strained, I will point out this is the state Old Testament spouses would find … Continue reading “What if the church treated widows like faithful divorced spouses?”
Evangelical Divorce Blame-Game
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…. -Ephesians 5:22,25, NIV I’m going to be transparent here: This passage from Ephesians 5 bothers me. It does not bother me that it is in the Bible. I thank God … Continue reading “Evangelical Divorce Blame-Game”
Helping A Shattered Spouse
A Christian brother comes over one night. He crumples onto your couch tears overflowing. Through his heaving sobs, you learn his wife has left him and is having sex with another man. The hollow and desperate look in his eyes tears at your heart. What can you do? I will start with the negative first. These dangerous responses … Continue reading “Helping A Shattered Spouse”
Performance Spells D-E-A-T-H To Marriage
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. – I John 4:18, ESV This past weekend I was at a married men’s retreat with men from my home church. At such an event, I sometimes … Continue reading “Performance Spells D-E-A-T-H To Marriage”
Adultery Helps Marriages Is An Old Lie
And why not do evil that good may come?—as some people slanderously charge us with saying. Their condemnation is just. – Romans 3:8, ESV If you are at all like me, this seems like a strange argument for the Apostle Paul to be addressing in his letter to the Romans. However, my eyes were open … Continue reading “Adultery Helps Marriages Is An Old Lie”
Must Be Therapeutic For Him…
While this is not directed at anyone in particular (I have heard these comments from several quarters), I wanted to make a statement, again, as to why I am blogging. I am responding to those who suggest I am doing this for my own therapeutic gain. This is a misunderstanding of my purpose. To be … Continue reading “Must Be Therapeutic For Him…”
Is Remarriage an Option for an Adulterous Spouse?
My post yesterday has raised questions about remarriage for the adulterous spouse and pool of divorced potential mates for divorced faithful spouses (see comments on this post here). I am going to summarize those questions into this one question: Is Remarriage an Option for an Adulterous Spouse? First, this statement only makes sense asking a … Continue reading “Is Remarriage an Option for an Adulterous Spouse?”
Mailbag: Is withholding sex from your spouse sexual immorality?
In a comment on the blog, OnlyEleven wrote, Is withholding sex from your spouse sexual immorality and therefore grounds for divorce? 3 of the 4 years of marriage have been sexless…she had sex long enough to get pg and have a much wanted baby, and has refused sex ever since. She refuses to even share … Continue reading “Mailbag: Is withholding sex from your spouse sexual immorality?”