People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house. -Proverbs 6:30-31, NIV These verses about a hungry thief stealing are in the midst of the passage warning the … Continue reading “Looking For Marriage Deficiencies Is “Barking Up Wrong Tree!””
Category: Theology of divorce
Agency & Advisors After Adultery Discovery
I saw the dead, both great and small, standing before God’s throne. And the books were opened, including the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to what they had done, as recorded in the books. – Rev. 20:12, NLT This past week I viewed a YouTube video of a former megachurch pastor … Continue reading “Agency & Advisors After Adultery Discovery”
How Did the Church Get To This Place?
While I was going through my divorce and subsequent ecclesiastical trial, I looked at a variety of theologically conservative denominations searching out how they handled divorced pastors/priests. What I found in the evangelical landscape was discouraging to put it bluntly. Plus, I experienced much of the problem in my very personal and humiliating trial to … Continue reading “How Did the Church Get To This Place?”
When Supporting Divorce Is Viewed As Worse Than…
Today, I am responding to an write-in article posted on RELEVANT Magazine. This is an explicitly cutting edge evangelical Christian magazine designed to engage culture from a Biblical Christian perspective. Here is the link to the article: I’m Getting Divorced. Why Won’t My Church Help Me? | RELEVANT Magazine. This exchange between a man, Marc, and … Continue reading “When Supporting Divorce Is Viewed As Worse Than…”
Truth as Punishment
“But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”-Matthew 12:36-37, NIV When reconstructing one’s narrative, truth can be both freeing and punishing. It is punishing … Continue reading “Truth as Punishment”
Top Three Texts Used To Abuse Faithful Spouses
Having started Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously just last summer, I have had the opportunity to read and hear a variety of faithful spouses’ horror stories with the church. Literally thousands of individuals visit this website monthly from over 110 unique countries around the globe. Themes are starting to emerge. The following are the top 3 most … Continue reading “Top Three Texts Used To Abuse Faithful Spouses”
What if the church treated widows like faithful divorced spouses?
Can you imagine church leaders (or simply other Christians) treating a widow/widower in the same way they treat a faithful spouse who is now divorced from the adulterous one? And before anyone cries “Foul!” on this analogy suggesting that its too strained, I will point out this is the state Old Testament spouses would find … Continue reading “What if the church treated widows like faithful divorced spouses?”
Evangelical Divorce Blame-Game
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…. -Ephesians 5:22,25, NIV I’m going to be transparent here: This passage from Ephesians 5 bothers me. It does not bother me that it is in the Bible. I thank God … Continue reading “Evangelical Divorce Blame-Game”
Helping A Shattered Spouse
A Christian brother comes over one night. He crumples onto your couch tears overflowing. Through his heaving sobs, you learn his wife has left him and is having sex with another man. The hollow and desperate look in his eyes tears at your heart. What can you do? I will start with the negative first. These dangerous responses … Continue reading “Helping A Shattered Spouse”
Performance Spells D-E-A-T-H To Marriage
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. – I John 4:18, ESV This past weekend I was at a married men’s retreat with men from my home church. At such an event, I sometimes … Continue reading “Performance Spells D-E-A-T-H To Marriage”