Cheater-Speak: “He’s a friend.”

Faithful Spouse: Who is he then?

Cheater: A friend. Can’t I have friends?

This is a common cheater ploy. They attempt to minimize the nature of their relationship with the affair partner.

He (or she) is presented as “a friend.”

Then they might go on the offensive accusing the faithful spouse of attempting to cut them off from friends. This is to paint the faithful spouse as totally crazy and controlling. Of course, this is yet another lie.

Of course, the faithful spouse is not objecting to the cheater having friends in general…

They are objecting to the cheater having “friends” that they bang!

A spouse who cares about his or her marriage vows OUGHT TO object to their partner disregarding the “forsaking all others” part of those vows.

It is totally healthy and godly to have an issue with one’s spouse having illicit sexual relationships with “a friend.”

If your cheater gets all defensive about just “a friend,” then you likely have discovered that this is “a friend” offering sexual benefits to your spouse. Innocent friendships are not hidden from one’s spouse.

Trust your gut. “A friend?” Yeah, right.

 

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*A version of this post ran previously.