7 Then the king and his nobles sent this decree throughout the city: “No one, not even the animals from your herds and flocks, may eat or drink anything at all. 8 People and animals alike must wear garments of mourning, and everyone must pray earnestly to God. They must turn from their evil ways and stop … Continue reading “Modeling Real Repentance–Nineveh”
Author: Divorce Minister
Bethel Church’s Dawna De Silva On CSA Victim Care
Controversy continues to swirl around Bethel Church in Redding, California. I have written already about one situation involving their now former senior leader, Ben Armstrong, and the allegations–that I believe to be true–that he engaged in Clergy Sexual Abuse (CSA) of “Sarah.” He was restored years ago (although, he is currently on administrative leave), and … Continue reading “Bethel Church’s Dawna De Silva On CSA Victim Care”
Still… bad enough
A cheater does not need to be a total monster in order to be bad for you. I suspect most cheaters (if not all) have some “redeeming” qualities about themselves. If they didn’t, we probably never would have married them in the first place. They are mix–like all of us–of good and bad traits. But … Continue reading “Still… bad enough”
Cheater push-back on wearing wedding band
“How dare you insist I wear my wedding ring!” -Petulant Cheater A cheater may take off her ring in order to avoid the constant reminder of her infidelity. This symbolic act speaks volumes. There is a reason we exchange rings in marriage ceremonies. The symbol is indicative of the vows exchanged between the couple before … Continue reading “Cheater push-back on wearing wedding band”
“There but for the grace of God go I” Response
“I see these church leaders fall, and I say to myself, ‘There but for the grace of God go I,’” says Pastor talking about Clergy Sexual Abuse situations. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or … Continue reading ““There but for the grace of God go I” Response”
Old Emails
“If someone ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? But who can keep from speaking?” -Job 4:2, NIV Recently, I was doing a search in my email account, and it popped up with results from when I was dealing with my (now) ex-wife. Like Eliphaz to Job here, I had two emails that … Continue reading “Old Emails”
“Remain Teachable” Spiritual Abuse
Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. -Psalm 119:69, NIV “Remember, you need to stay teachable,” says arrogant authority figure. In my experience, religious authorities employ the “unteachable” label as a weapon to dismiss people who resist their control. This is spiritual abuse, by the way. … Continue reading ““Remain Teachable” Spiritual Abuse”
God, Forgiveness, and Justice
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t cheap … Continue reading “God, Forgiveness, and Justice”
Allowed to have friends?
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.” -Matthew 7:15, NLT “Aren’t I allowed to have ‘friends?!’” -Cheater I think this is one of the most dangerous tools at the disposal of cheaters. It effectively puts the faithful spouse on the defensive as he or she tries to … Continue reading “Allowed to have friends?”
Forgiveness and Consequences
13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NIV God forgave David for murder and adultery. It says so here. However, God still … Continue reading “Forgiveness and Consequences”