Anyone here get labelled as “dangerous” and “angry” by your Cheater or her apologists? What I find curious about such labeling is how Cheaters know it is just that. They do not believe their actual press. When push comes to shove, Cheaters will call the person that they are “afraid of” to find true safety. … Continue reading “You’re such a threat, but…”
Author: Divorce Minister
Don’t have to take it.
You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater. Walk away. Hang up the phone. End the session. A responsible pastor would do this for you in a session. Minimally, the pastor would correct the Cheater. However, you do not have to be passive in these situations. You have agency! If … Continue reading “Don’t have to take it.”
Still making demands?
If your cheater is still making demands…. …then you can be assured that they are not really sorry about cheating and did not really “get” the devastation of their sin against you. A person who cheats and grasps how awful a betrayal it is will not then turn on the faithful party to make relationship … Continue reading “Still making demands?”
“I protected YOUR reputation! So…”
“I protected YOUR reputation with our friends,” says Cheater. “So, I am asking you to do the same for me.” First, do not believe a proven liar, and Cheaters are proven liars. They are only saying this to control the narrative and protect their image. They assume here the faithful spouse will lie for their … Continue reading ““I protected YOUR reputation! So…””
The real choice
Even a faithful spouse “choosing” to divorce their cheater is really not the choice. They had chosen to be married for life to a person who left all others. However, that person decided to change things. They chose adultery. That just left bad options for the faithful spouse. The faithful spouse choosing divorce is a person … Continue reading “The real choice”
“Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but…”
“Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but you’ve got issues, too,” says false “friend.” You need to lose “friends” that respond in this sort of way to your infidelity trauma. They are not behaving as a friend. In fact, they are making things worse by equating your imperfections with a double-life of lies and … Continue reading ““Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but…””
I don’t get it.
I don’t get faithful spouses wanting to be friends with their Cheaters. Sure, there’s pressure to do this “for the kids” if kids are involved. Some may feel pressure from outsiders to do this to not burden them with the ugliness that is reality. It makes sense for Cheaters to want this–i.e. to be “friends.” … Continue reading “I don’t get it.”
Contrasting Lay Christian Counselors
Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success. -Proverbs 15:22, NLT I had contrasting experiences with two Christian couples who offered me counsel during and after my divorce. The first couple were a disaster for my marriage. They picked sides and pushed my Cheater towards divorce. The contempt towards me in those … Continue reading “Contrasting Lay Christian Counselors”
Almost double! Anniversary.
Mrs. DM and I have made it to the 11 year mark in our marriage today! What a better marriage this is and has been than my first marriage. We’ve almost made it to twice as long as my first marriage. It is without doubt one of my best decisions marrying Mrs. DM. I love … Continue reading “Almost double! Anniversary.”
Gets Angry!
In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, Because He was angry. -Psalm 18:6-7, NKJV My God gets … Continue reading “Gets Angry!”