Your Cheater may never acknowledge what they did to you was wrong. They may contest the divorce story to the end of their lives. Part of healing is accepting this as a loss and moving forward in the truth. Yes, it is an injustice. Still, to heal, we sometimes have to name it as such … Continue reading “Accepting Reality & Disagreement”
Author: Divorce Minister
Be prepared. Post discovery and meeting for “help.”
Cheating is exposed. Now, the cheater is willing to go to couples therapy and rebuild what the cheater destroyed. How does a faithful spouse approach such sessions with a Christian couples counselor? 1. Remember you have choices here. Did you choose this counselor? What do you know about him or her? If this person is … Continue reading “Be prepared. Post discovery and meeting for “help.””
No blaming of faithful spouse
10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” -John 8:10-11, NIV Lessons from the Woman Caught In Adultery Story What strikes me–among many things–in this story is how … Continue reading “No blaming of faithful spouse”
Restitution and forgiveness according to Jesus
But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son … Continue reading “Restitution and forgiveness according to Jesus”
Hymn to encourage you!
“This is my Father’s world: Oh, let me ne’er forget That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet.” -“This Is My Father’s World” by Maltbie Babcock It is rough. These are the times to remember an eternal perspective. God will deal with injustice ultimately. Today, I simply want to encourage you to … Continue reading “Hymn to encourage you!”
Cheater-Speak: “We drifted apart.”
“We just drifted apart,” says Cheater. This is probably one of the lamer excuses a Cheater might give for their behavior. Like ships on the ocean of life, this metaphor suggests the tides of time simply separated the couple. In other words, the excuse serves to blame external circumstances. Is it possible to “drift apart” … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “We drifted apart.””
“For the kids” Really?!
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Adulterous spouses have no shame. On one hand, they will willfully and maliciously disregard how their selfish sinful choices impact their children. Then, on the other hand, they will … Continue reading ““For the kids” Really?!”
Their “Flying Monkeys”
When people discuss narcissists, they sometimes use the phrase ‘flying monkeys.’ Flying monkeys refer to people who carry out the work of a narcissist or an abusive person, and it comes from The Wizard of Oz, in which the Wicked Witch of the West puts flying monkeys under her spell. -Taken from “What the Term … Continue reading “Their “Flying Monkeys””
Pentecost: Gifts of Holy Spirit
On the day of Pentecost all the believers were meeting together in one place. -Acts 2:1, NLT Holy Spirit played an important role in my recovery story. His gifts saw me through a very, very dark time. I had just discovered the Other Man who was later confirmed to be party to a physical affair … Continue reading “Pentecost: Gifts of Holy Spirit”
That old bitter card
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. – Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV I am suspicious of … Continue reading “That old bitter card”