“Do everything they say to you,” the Lord replied, “for they are rejecting me, not you. They don’t want me to be their king any longer.” -I Samuel 8:7, NLT For whatever reason, recognizing the larger picture is helpful. Cheaters are not “just” rejecting their spouse. They are rejecting God. They may say otherwise. In fact, they … Continue reading “Really defying God”
Their “honesty”
“I felt like I had to lie because you would get angry if you knew,” says Cheater. What the Cheater is really saying is that they feared not having complete control over you once you were no longer in the dark about the truth. Knowledge is power as the saying goes. They did not feel like … Continue reading “Their “honesty””
Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters
“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her, for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband. Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NIV I’ve noticed a phenomenon among pastors dealing with female Cheaters: They have a tendency to advocate for gentler confrontation with female … Continue reading “Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters”
Shattered Self Esteem
He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged. -Isaiah 42:3, NLT Shattered Self Esteem One of the many stupid things about the dynamics regarding cheating is how all the sympathy often is sucked up by the Cheater. They are treated … Continue reading “Shattered Self Esteem”
Painful discard
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. -Isaiah 53:3, NIV The divorce discard is painful. Some Cheaters cling to their marriage, and other Cheaters complete the rejection by filing for divorce. … Continue reading “Painful discard”
Grief gets us stuck sometimes
His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep. -Genesis 37:35, NLT Grief gets us stuck sometimes. It is a lot of loss all at once to discover your spouse’s double-life. You have … Continue reading “Grief gets us stuck sometimes”
Transparency and Honesty?
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. -John 3:22, NIV Only seeking transparency and honesty? No. Rather, Cheaters are seeking information and power. It is funny how Cheaters talk a big game about wanting transparency and honesty. The irony … Continue reading “Transparency and Honesty?”
Playing the Martyr
Some Cheaters are very adept at playing the martyr. They are the aggrieved party, not you. Yes, they cheated, but they only did so because you are such an awful spouse. They are happy to tell you what they’ve allegedly been putting up with that “drove them” to cheat. They are a marriage martyr. Often times, … Continue reading “Playing the Martyr”
Stick to your “guns”
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Stick to your “guns!” Do not waste your time with a pastor or counselor who wants to go over your marriage “troubles” while avoiding the infidelity of your spouse. This … Continue reading “Stick to your “guns””
Reasonable, but not!
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. -Colossians 2:8, NIV I thought it was so reasonable… …but it wasn’t. It was worldly wisdom. My (now) ex-wife presented her “emotional affair” to me as … Continue reading “Reasonable, but not!”