Taking Adultery Seriously
Faithful Spouse: [Setting a healthy boundary] “Our relationship is over. We won’t be friends any more, unless you end it with John [Affair Partner] and work to convince me you’ve shut the door to all others.” Cheater: “You’re being so manipulative. Fine. I guess we won’t be friends.” …one month passes with minimal to zero … Continue reading “Response Tells You They’re Lying About You”
“I didn’t tell you, because I thought you’d get angry.” -Cheater Let’s start to unpack this “gem” of a cheater-speak: 1. The cheater is aware that what he or she did might be upsetting to the faithful spouse, yet still did it. This is another reason why I am in the camp that cheaters have full knowledge … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I didn’t tell you because…””
For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body. – 2 Corinthians 5:10, NLT You are NOT responsible for your Cheater’s sins. Period. If you are like me, you will encounter all sort of people … Continue reading “Their sins are NOT in anyway your fault!”
“For I, the LORD, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them.” -Isaiah 61:8, NLT When I was going through my ecclesiastical trial to keep my ministerial credentials, someone I trusted asked me why my former denomination was so fixated … Continue reading “Why bother to blame?”
“Yes, I slept with him. But that is not why I am divorcing you,” says remorseless Cheater. A cheater saying such a thing is a cheater who is desperate to control how people see them in the divorce. They understand that Christians may look upon them poorly once their adultery is known. So, they want … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “Yes, I slept with him. But that is not why I am divorcing you!””
A cheater does not need to be a total monster in order to be bad for you. I suspect most cheaters (if not all) have some “redeeming” qualities about themselves. If they didn’t, we probably never would have married them in the first place. They are mix–like all of us–of good and bad traits. But … Continue reading “Bad enough for you to move on!”
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. -Micah 6:8, NIV Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously is an online ministry born from my personal experience and a pastoral need. That need is still there. … Continue reading “Why keep blogging about taking adultery seriously?”
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! -I Corinthians 6:15, NKJV When I explained how a cheater violates the soul of a faithful spouse as soul rape, I had a “Christian” psychologist retort to me: “What’s the … Continue reading “Can you tell what the Greek is for “soul rape?””
Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. -Isaiah 61:7a, NLT Why would you choose to accept the lie-filled narrative from your cheater as your own narrative? Choose your own victory narrative! Remember: You are not the rejected spouse. RATHER, you are the FAITHFUL SPOUSE! You are not the morally … Continue reading “You get to CHOOSE your victory narrative!”
Public Service Announcement: Do NOT use your cheater’s individual therapist for couple’s counseling! One of my many mistakes with my first marriage’s demise was agreeing to see my (now ex) wife’s individual therapist for couple’s counseling. The therapist and her had worked with each other for months, if not years, by that point. I knew … Continue reading “PSA: Don’t use your cheater’s individual therapist!”
