His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep. -Genesis 37:35, NLT Grief gets us stuck sometimes. It is a lot of loss all at once to discover your spouse’s double-life. You have … Continue reading “Grief gets us stuck sometimes”
Transparency and Honesty?
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. -John 3:22, NIV Only seeking transparency and honesty? No. Rather, Cheaters are seeking information and power. It is funny how Cheaters talk a big game about wanting transparency and honesty. The irony … Continue reading “Transparency and Honesty?”
Playing the Martyr
Some Cheaters are very adept at playing the martyr. They are the aggrieved party, not you. Yes, they cheated, but they only did so because you are such an awful spouse. They are happy to tell you what they’ve allegedly been putting up with that “drove them” to cheat. They are a marriage martyr. Often times, … Continue reading “Playing the Martyr”
Stick to your “guns”
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Stick to your “guns!” Do not waste your time with a pastor or counselor who wants to go over your marriage “troubles” while avoiding the infidelity of your spouse. This … Continue reading “Stick to your “guns””
Reasonable, but not!
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. -Colossians 2:8, NIV I thought it was so reasonable… …but it wasn’t. It was worldly wisdom. My (now) ex-wife presented her “emotional affair” to me as … Continue reading “Reasonable, but not!”
Will not repent even in the face of counter evidence
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. -2 Timothy 4:3, NIV Before discovery or even after discovery of an affair, you might experience … Continue reading “Will not repent even in the face of counter evidence”
Just a photo
It was just a photo. I saw a picture of an old “friend” who chose my Cheater and turned against me in the end. One photo brought back all sorts of feelings. Mostly, it brought back grief. My last contact with this couple was a text from the husband on the day that my divorce … Continue reading “Just a photo”
Indifference to injustice is ungodly!
For the Lord is righteous, he loves justice…. -Psalm 11:7a, NIV Caring for faithful spouses is a justice issue, in my opinion. I know many issues in this world are related to the imbalance of justice. Adultery and adultery victims are not the only ones suffering from a world run through with injustice. Yet they are suffering injustices. If … Continue reading “Indifference to injustice is ungodly!”
Perfection not required!
10 “‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NIV After discovering adultery, the faithful spouse’s performance as a spouse is often put under the microscope. We, faithful spouse, might do it ourselves trying to make sense … Continue reading “Perfection not required!”
Bad Advice: “Love her back!”
“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her, for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband. Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NIV Love her back! So often, this advice is what is given as the “Christian” answer to marital infidelity. It is an … Continue reading “Bad Advice: “Love her back!””