Want to really help someone move on? Acknowledge the injustice.

Want to really help a faithful spouse “move on” from being cheated on? Acknowledge the very real injustices they have experienced. Christians who are so fearful of faithful spouses “getting stuck in victimhood” fail to recognize this important lesson. They fail to see that the healing cannot begin without first seeing the wound for what … Continue reading “Want to really help someone move on? Acknowledge the injustice.”

If marriage is so sacred, why do you give marriage defilers a “pass?”

If marriage is so sacred, why do Christians and others give a pass to marriage defilers–aka adulterous spouses?! Like God divorcing Israel over repeated adulteries (see Jeremiah 3:8), it makes more sense to me that people who really think marriage is sacred would levy stiff consequences to those who defile it. So, I do not … Continue reading “If marriage is so sacred, why do you give marriage defilers a “pass?””

Rob Porter, Mormonism, and Religious Never-Divorce Pressure

Last week, Rob Porter resigned his position with the Trump White House. His two ex-wives had accused him of abusing them during their time married to him. Porter is Mormon, and a recent CNN article talks about the role their religious faith community played in their domestic abuse stories. ***To be clear: I am NOT … Continue reading “Rob Porter, Mormonism, and Religious Never-Divorce Pressure”

Teaching Basic Marriage Morality

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, KJV Today was the day. I was driving Munchkin to a birthday party. It was being held at the dad’s house of a classmate. Munchkin informed me that her classmate’s parents live … Continue reading “Teaching Basic Marriage Morality”

God is our strength source.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. -Psalm 46:1-3, KJV The Lord is … Continue reading “God is our strength source.”

Cheater-speak: “Come on! It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Come on! It wasn’t a big deal. That’s why I didn’t tell you.” -Cheater When a cheater responds this way, they are engaging in gas-lighting. Let me explain: They know whatever happened IS a big deal to you. So, they say this to cover for themselves and invalidate your feelings. Also, the chances are good … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “Come on! It wasn’t a big deal.””

Grateful for Brave Other Faithful Spouses

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV I am grateful for faithful spouses who opened … Continue reading “Grateful for Brave Other Faithful Spouses”

Cheating Does NOT Justify Cheating.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, KJV This morning I was listening to the radio when someone came on seeking relationship advice. His fiancee recently became pregnant, and he assumed he was not the father as he had secretly had a vasectomy. Because she conceived, he concluded she cheated and proceeded to sleep with … Continue reading “Cheating Does NOT Justify Cheating.”

Your ex does not own your beliefs. It is okay to disagree.

“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.” -Daniel Patrick Moynihan, American Politician Cheaters often forget that faithful spouses do not owe them agreement with their marriage ending narrative. This reality does not stop cheaters from expecting and demanding such agreement, though. Cheaters are perfectly fine pressuring a faithful partner (or ex) … Continue reading “Your ex does not own your beliefs. It is okay to disagree.”