“If you want to come back, O Israel, you must really come back to me. You must get rid of your stinking sin paraphernalia and not wander away from me anymore.” -Jeremiah 4:1 (from 1-2 block), THE MESSAGE This verse comes on the heals of the chapter where God declares His divorce of Israel over … Continue reading “Even God Requires Repentance First!”
Care about the healing of victims? Preach perpetrator repentance then!
God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NLT Pastors, do you really care about the healing of infidelity victims? If so, then please preach that the perpetrators need to repent. One of the many things that bothers me about Christians responding to infidelity situations is how they seem unconcern … Continue reading “Care about the healing of victims? Preach perpetrator repentance then!”
Taking a Side is Sometimes Appropriate! Highpoint Church Fiasco Illustrates.
“It is okay to be sorry that a sin was committed. And at least two people were hurt by the ripple effect of the consequences of that sin. It is okay to be sorry toward both people, to love both people, and not have to choose a side. … Our responsibility is that we must … Continue reading “Taking a Side is Sometimes Appropriate! Highpoint Church Fiasco Illustrates.”
“Mistake” Minimization
“It was a mistake.” -Cheater Adultery is far more than “a mistake.” The word just makes me cringe internally when I see or hear it used to talk about infidelity. In one sense, the word is accurate. The person did something wrong. A “mistake” highlights that. However, the word “mistake” trivializes what the cheater did. … Continue reading ““Mistake” Minimization”
In defense of men during this #metoo moment
I am a man. I am an ordained evangelical minister. And I am not ashamed of those facts! What troubles me about some reactions to the Andy Savage story is how they assume this is normal behavior of evangelical ministers or even young Christian men. It is not! We are not all predators. When I was … Continue reading “In defense of men during this #metoo moment”
Andy Savage, clergy sexual abuser, loses marriage book contract.
The Ridiculously Good Marriage, a planned book by Memphis-area, megachurch, Pastor Andy Savage, was recently cancelled by Bethany House (link here). This is good news in my opinion. This publishing house made this decision following recent news that Andy Savage sexually assaulted a teenager while he was her youth pastor twenty years ago. I am encouraged to … Continue reading “Andy Savage, clergy sexual abuser, loses marriage book contract.”
Mailbag: What do I do with an enabling MIL?
Dear Divorce Minister, ….back in Feb. I discovered my husband of 20 years had been having a 2 year affair. About 2 weeks later I discovered that my MIL, who prides herself on being an ‘upstanding Christian woman’ who attends church twice a week, knew about the affair! I caught my husband by using a … Continue reading “Mailbag: What do I do with an enabling MIL?”
Seeking Forgiveness or Accountability Avoidance?
Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the word of the Lord by doing this, your child will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NLT Is the cheater asking for forgiveness or simply seeking to avoid … Continue reading “Seeking Forgiveness or Accountability Avoidance?”
Cheater, focus on YOUR part!
“She will just keep this hanging over my head. I don’t think she will ever really forgive me.” -Cheater to pastor Cheater, focus on YOUR own part! A wise pastor and Christian counselor will not take this bait to bash the faithful spouse. Instead, he or she will remind the cheater that he only controls … Continue reading “Cheater, focus on YOUR part!”
Pastors, we are past talking marriage enrichment issues.
Pastors, we–faithful spouses–are past talking about marriage enrichment issues. One of the many annoying things about talking to some Christians about infidelity is how they seem incapable of basic spiritual care triage. They do not understand how working on “communication skills” is not going to save a marriage where one partner refuses to stop banging … Continue reading “Pastors, we are past talking marriage enrichment issues.”