“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.” -Job 31:1, NLT An adage among fidelity website(s) is how if a spouse suggests living in an “open marriage” that you already are in one. This same wisdom applies–in my opinion–to situations where a cheater suggests the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: If they are encouraging you to welcome others’ attention…”
What if adultery was treated as the enemy more than divorce?!
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT What if adultery was treated as the enemy more than divorce in our churches?! A truly astounding teaching–whether spoken or implied–is how Christians treat divorce as a … Continue reading “What if adultery was treated as the enemy more than divorce?!”
Did not choose this!
Even when filing the divorce papers, the faithful spouse really did not choose this outcome. What they chose was a marriage free of infidelity! The filing of the papers was the choice they had left after the choice of the cheater to destroy the agreed upon future by being unfaithful. The good options–the preferred option–was … Continue reading “Did not choose this!”
Loving Well Matters Eternally!
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ -Matthew 22:37-39, NLT In the midst of the real injustices and insults surrounding being cheated upon, faithful spouses often … Continue reading “Loving Well Matters Eternally!”
Cheaters and “Cheap Grace”
…cheap grace — “the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance.” Cheap grace wrongly separates absolution of sin from acknowledgment of that sin. -Katelyn Beaty, “The Mistake Christians Made in Defending Bill O’Reilly Cheaters and “cheap grace” Beaty’s article takes aim at some prominent conservatives and evangelical leaders. In particular, her article exposes the hypocrisy of … Continue reading “Cheaters and “Cheap Grace””
Subtle Shaming of Divorced Families
“He is from a ‘broken family.’” -Church-goer I was pondering this label the other day: “broken family.” Notice this label is rarely–if ever–used in Christian circles to denote a family where one parent dies. It is the euphemism of choice to describe families that have experienced divorce. I maintain that if we hesitate to use … Continue reading “Subtle Shaming of Divorced Families”
Not a Regrettable Footnote But More!
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV How can you miss it that bad?! How can someone read and understand the Bible yet treat adultery as a “regrettable footnote” to a marriage ending? It astounds me … Continue reading “Not a Regrettable Footnote But More!”
Working on the Divorce Minister book…
Work has commenced in producing a book form of this blog. I have tentatively entitled the project: Taking Adultery Seriously: The Divorce Minister Guide To Surviving Infidelity Since I have a full-time job that pays the bills and an active young family, please be patient with me as I work on the manuscript for this … Continue reading “Working on the Divorce Minister book…”
And then the sadness fades away…
I will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me. … You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy…. -Psalm 30:1, 11b, NLT Memories of one’s past life remain. They sometimes stalk one in the strangest of times and places. Such is … Continue reading “And then the sadness fades away…”
“Exit Affairs” and Faulting Thinking
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV What I find especially troubling is how some people will call some affairs … Continue reading ““Exit Affairs” and Faulting Thinking”