Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. … Continue reading “God Loves Us In Any Size!”
Cheater-speak: “We need time apart to heal.”
“We need time apart to heal.” -Cheater Unless safety is at issue, I am generally not a fan of “voluntary” separations. This is doubly so when the separation idea is floated by someone known to have cheated either emotionally or physically. NOT. A. Good. Idea. Such a period of separation puts extreme pressure on a couple’s … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “We need time apart to heal.””
Salting Wounds
A bruised reed He will not break, And smoking flax He will not quench; He will bring forth justice for truth. -Isaiah 42:3, NKJV Pastors, adultery victims are “bruised reeds.” They have experienced great trauma and injustice at the hands of their own spouse. The last thing such a faithful spouse is condemnation or more … Continue reading “Salting Wounds”
Casting More Than Just The First Stone!
So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” -John 8:7, KJV (emphasis and quotation marks added) Ever notice how Christians quoting these words from Jesus have no problem “casting stones” at faithful spouses? … Continue reading “Casting More Than Just The First Stone!”
Feature Resource: SHRINK4MEN
While this is not necessarily a blanket endorsement (as I have not read it all and disagree with some stuff), I think SHRINK4MEN is an excellent resource in general for faithful spouses. It is focused on helping men deal with abusive female partners. However, I think the advice is broad enough to help female readers … Continue reading “Feature Resource: SHRINK4MEN”
“I had an emotional affair. Should I tell my husband?”
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” -Luke 6:31, NIV “I had an emotional affair. Should I tell my husband?” Sometimes my analytic software that tracks my traffic gives me phrases people use that lead them to this blog. A version of the above question was one a day or so … Continue reading ““I had an emotional affair. Should I tell my husband?””
Pastor to Faithful Spouse
It is no longer a matter of speculation: Your spouse has admitted to cheating. Besides you have the evidence of this awful truth going back months–or even years–in your hands. The world has stopped, and you are in shock. You think, “This sort of thing happens to other people. Not us!” How might a pastor help … Continue reading “Pastor to Faithful Spouse”
Beware of Engaging the In-Laws!
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, NIV I made an honest mistake when my marriage started to unravel: My mistake was to open and share my heart to the father of my (now) ex-wife. It was an honest mistake in that I … Continue reading “Beware of Engaging the In-Laws!”
“Sorry, I don’t have to agree with you.”
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.” -Daniel Patrick Moynihan, American Politician Cheaters often forget that faithful spouses do not owe them agreement with their marriage ending narrative. This reality does not stop cheaters from expecting and demanding such agreement, though. Cheaters are perfectly fine pressuring a faithful partner (or ex) … Continue reading ““Sorry, I don’t have to agree with you.””
“But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.”
“Sure, she had an affair. But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.” -A Stupid Thing Christians Say I have heard or read a version of this statement more than once. It seems like a common mindset some have–even pastors–towards faithful spouses. And this is a subtle blame-shift. For the ethics flunkies … Continue reading ““But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.””