Here is to the Courageously Divorced!!!

Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. -Mathew 1:19, NIV Sometimes divorce is the best of the bad options left. Today, I want to celebrate the courageous ones. The divorced who chose ridicule from pastors, … Continue reading “Here is to the Courageously Divorced!!!”

Divorce Minister: A Divorce-Positive Resource For Evangelicals

But in your great mercy you did not put an end to them or abandon them, for you are a gracious and merciful God. -Nehemiah 9:31, NIV What do I mean by a “divorce-positive” resource for evangelicals? -Do I mean divorce is the answer to all marital problems? No. -Do I mean divorce is a … Continue reading “Divorce Minister: A Divorce-Positive Resource For Evangelicals”

Why would you throw all that away?

On oath Esau traded away his rights as the firstborn. Jacob gave him bread and the stew of lentils. He ate and drank, got up and left. That’s how Esau shrugged off his rights as the firstborn. – Genesis 25:33b-34 (THE MESSAGE) “Why would you just throw away _x_ number of years of marriage?!” Obviously, … Continue reading “Why would you throw all that away?”

Innocence Lost

DM on his first wedding day (2006) None of my immediate family experienced divorce. We were a sheltered family system–i.e. from grandparents down to first cousins. Divorce had not visited its devastation directly upon us. That was until my marriage was shot in the head on December 12, 2012. I was raised that marriage was … Continue reading “Innocence Lost”

Necessary But NOT Sufficient

The pastoral impulse to “save” marriages is strong. It is flattering and exhilirating to be a part of a resurrection story where a marriage comes back from its adulterous death. I get it. Who really wants to be the divorce attorney’s pastoral equivalent encouraging only marriage funerals? I don’t. I love miracle stories and would love to be … Continue reading “Necessary But NOT Sufficient”

Sometimes You Have To Choose

Pastors, Someday You Will Have To Choose In Your Counsel Between Enabling Adultery or Encouraging Divorce. Is Your Theology Ready For That? I write this as I reflect upon the trainwreck that is The Village Church pastoral care. Here’s a post to some rather hair-raising stories of spiritual abuse (click here). My hope is that … Continue reading “Sometimes You Have To Choose”

Does God Hate Divorce More Than Adultery?

Does God hate divorce more than God hates adultery? This is a critical question to answer. This is not simply an exercise in abstract theology. The answer has real life implications. It is especially critical for those individuals who have found themselves staring down at the pieces of their own broken hearts after discovering adultery … Continue reading “Does God Hate Divorce More Than Adultery?”

Encouraging People to Divorce Too Lightly?

If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. – Deuteronomy 22:22, KJV “You’re encouraging people to divorce too lightly!” This or some similar version … Continue reading “Encouraging People to Divorce Too Lightly?”

Listen to the Holy Spirit

  For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. – 2 Timothy 1:7, KJV One of the beautiful things about true Christianity is that Christians serve a living and active God. God moves in the hearts and lives of those God has … Continue reading “Listen to the Holy Spirit”

Can Divorce Is NOT A Command

‘If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. – Leviticus 20:10, NASB “Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. For … Continue reading “Can Divorce Is NOT A Command”