His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep.

-Genesis 37:35, NLT

Grief gets us stuck sometimes.

It is a lot of loss all at once to discover your spouse’s double-life. You have so much to lose when your life is blown up by your Cheater. You HAVE LOST so much by that point, honestly!

Some of us–including me–initially just wanted the bad things to go away and return to how things were. That was grief talking.

Cognitively, we know this isn’t going to happen. It can’t because you cannot undo what was done. Plus, how things were is not reality. They were cheating and defrauding us of our reality even back then.

Grief isn’t healed through thinking, though. We have to feel our way through it. The pain MUST be acknowledged before it can begin to heal.

I think the most confusing thing about this season is how conflicted the feelings can be towards one’s Cheater. We have memories we cherish with them that makes the loss that much more painful for us, because we know it could have turned out otherwise.

My point is all these feelings are normal. Keep going and don’t let your grief keep you stuck. Move forward by facing the pain and taking action to protect your future. It DOES get better!