When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief.
-Job 2:12, NLT
A shared history is an underestimated loss in the story of a divorce from a Cheater.
It creates odd ripples of grief. One would think the feelings have faded away, but like an old bone that has healed aches in bad weather, you remember the loss as you go to old familiar places.
The loss is real, or I should say losses. You can never be young again. Your Cheater took those years with them when they destroyed your marriage. It is unjust, and they are real losses.
I say this to validate your grief. Something is not wrong with you when you feel the tug of these odd ripples in time. It just means what was lost mattered to you, and that is a good thing.
Another aspect of this grief is how it reminds you of how things could have gone differently if your Cheater had honored their vows. I think that, too, is part of the pain in the moment of remembrance.
