Some Cheaters are very adept at playing the martyr.
They are the aggrieved party, not you. Yes, they cheated, but they only did so because you are such an awful spouse. They are happy to tell you what they’ve allegedly been putting up with that “drove them” to cheat.
They are a marriage martyr. Often times, this martyr act comes with a treatment of the affair as merely a “cry for help.”
Cheaters doing this are not interested in repenting. They are unwilling to accept their authorship in this evil of adultery. They’re the victim, not you, in their minds.
That is why they present the affair as “a cry for help.” It takes the focus off their abuse of your trust and well-being placing the responsibility firmly on you instead. It is victim blaming.
Sadly, some Christian leaders will buy the martyr act. They will allow themselves to be led to attacking the faithful spouse instead of calling the Cheater to account for their sins.
