The words of the reckless pierce like swords,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.-Proverbs 12:18, NIV
Probably Already Smeared
When Cheaters ask you not to say anything to others about their cheating, do not be naïve about them. They probably have already smeared your name with your mutual “friends” and family.
What they don’t want is competing narratives out there.
They especially do not want unflattering truth out there. That would make it more difficult for them to continue to manipulate people.
So, do not be surprised if your Cheater uses guilt to try and silence you. They want you to keep the secrets of their cheating as a way to be “civil” as that is what they claim to be doing for you.
The problem is such a bargain is not usually kept from their end. Telling others about how “awful” you are has likely already happened. Plus, we should not be surprised:
If they wouldn’t keep their marriage vows, why would they keep this bargain?!
Do not agree to be silenced.
You need to be able to talk through this infidelity trauma with others. Now, I would NOT recommend doing something rash like blasting it out to the world. However, make the decision about who to tell based on how it serves you and your healing.
