Safe Target
I have a theory:
I think some Cheaters cheat because they feel safe to do so with their faithful spouse.
They never felt safe with their own family. So, they decide to rebel, not as a teenager, but as an adult. Sadly, this “rebellion” is very, VERY costly for the faithful spouse.
In other words, faithful spouses are “safe targets.”
We’re there for them to work out whatever FOO (Family of Origin) issues that they couldn’t deal with in appropriate ways. Nothing is wrong with working out FOO issues per se.
What IS wrong is using sin–i.e. adultery–as a means to work out your issues. To say that it is counterproductive does not even begin to describe how destructive cheating is!
Cheaters may project all sorts of things onto the faithful spouse during this time. Sadly, they will discover those same issues follow them wherever they go. In other words, blaming the faithful spouse does not solve anything–really–for them.
In fact, I would argue that Cheaters are alienating the one person that could actually help them heal. Sadly, they are often too arrogant and selfish to realize this before it is too late.
