He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged.

-Isaiah 42:3, NLT

Shattered Self Esteem

One of the many stupid things about the dynamics regarding cheating is how all the sympathy often is sucked up by the Cheater. They are treated as the one with low self esteem. Efforts are made to build them up as if that will prevent them from cheating again.

In my experience, faithful spouses are the ones with the shattered self esteem.

Often, they have endured months or even years of the discard phase of the Cheater’s terrorization of them. This may kick off during the divorce negotiations or doomed therapy sessions where the Cheater tries to devalue the spouse they are discarding. It is very destructive.

Cheaters are counting on faithful spouses having low self esteem. That is why they get so angry when the faithful spouse speaks up for herself and levels consequences that say she does not deserve such treatment.

Cheaters want and expect a nice, compliant doormat to walk all over. Don’t give that to them anymore!