“He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
-John 8:43b, NIV
What was true? Was anything?
So many lies come out of the mouths of Cheaters. The spoken and unspoken lies are a lifestyle for them, sadly.
I am convinced they actually believe their own lies in the end. That is a punishment for them–i.e. losing touch with truth and reality.
The double lies of Cheaters leave us wondering when it all started and what was actually real versus managed by our manipulator-in-chief spouse (or ex). It is truly disorienting to realize our memories are forever tainted with this specter of dishonesty.
Our Cheater may even have professed allegiance to honesty and truth. They may have even made this profession while their adultery was still hidden.
That’s disorienting and disillusioning to discover! They lacked character to the degree that they could make such a profession to keep us off their trail. It is truly a very low thing to do.
Like an addict hopelessly enslaved to their chemical of “choice,” Cheaters cannot even be honest with themselves. They are slaves to their appetites and a false reality.
And like an addict unwilling to get honest with herself, we need to detach lovingly and get away from their path of destruction. This is why, I believe, God permits divorce in these situations (see Mt. 19:9):
God understands some people have given themselves to the Father of Lies and will not surrender their sins. Faithful spouses don’t have to go down with them, though.
