14 “But suppose this son has a son who sees all the sins his father commits, and though he sees them, he does not do such things:
15 “He does not eat at the mountain shrines
or look to the idols of Israel.
He does not defile his neighbor’s wife.
…He will not die for his father’s sin; he will surely live.
-Ezekiel 18:14-15, 17b, NIV
So Unseen!
One of the many frustrating things about going through infidelity discovery and divorce from a Cheater is how the Church responds to us. Some have processes for Cheaters, but I am not aware of any Church that have care processes for infidelity victims.
We are unseen.
I find this frustrating in the day and age! The problem can not even begin to be addressed until infidelity victims are seen and acknowledged as such in our church bodies. Yet we are far from this.
Stories about cheating pastors abound.
What they don’t do is give a platform for the faithful spouse to share their pain and be seen. They are unseen and unacknowledged in the story essentially.
This is unfortunate. It downplays the cost of such sin. Without such perspective, it is easier to glorify cheating or dismiss the damage of such awful sin and abuse. That is much harder to do when you are faced with real victims and their pain.
Awareness of Clergy Sexual Abuse and Sexual Assault, in general, are rising in our church communities. I am grateful these important subjects are gaining much needed attention.
Yet I wish infidelity abuse survivors would also get acknowledgment as well. We matter, and the experience we have had is no less traumatic than these other survivors. Support is needed.
