Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
-Hebrews 13:4, NIV
Stick to your “guns!”
Do not waste your time with a pastor or counselor who wants to go over your marriage “troubles” while avoiding the infidelity of your spouse. This is worse than a waste of time. It could further traumatize you and mess with your head.
Once cheating is confessed or known, then your Cheater’s poor decision making and harm of you should be the ONLY topic!
This is NOT the time for building up couple’s communication skills. It is time to uproot the entitlement lies your Cheater has clearly believed. And it is time for them to see how serious their sin is.
No one is ultimately or spiritually served by changing the subject away from all the lies your Cheater is believing and speaking. Light needs to shine in that darkness for their to be healing.
If your Cheater won’t abide by this focus or your pastor won’t accept this as proper, then leave. Save yourself the blame-shifting grief that would come from staying.
You do not have to be the perfect spouse to deserve to have fidelity from your partner. Stick to your “guns” and do not let anyone make this about anything but the abusive choices of your Cheater!
