Stuck Phenomenon
Something I’ve noticed over the years working with faithful spouses is how Cheaters often stay stuck in the same cycles. They do not mature. Cheaters want to rehash the same arguments with us over and over again.
This makes sense as they are trying to solve something that can only be solved through repentance and forsaking their sins.
These arguments are usually focused around trying to get the faithful spouse to take responsibility for the marriage’s demise. Some Cheaters are not at peace with what they did.
To alleviate their discomfort, they are trying to offload the guilt onto their victims–namely, the faithful spouses.
This is one reason it is wise to go “no contact” or minimal contact with such Cheaters. Rehashing those arguments do not serve the faithful spouse. In fact, they can set back our healing if we start to take responsibility–even in part–for our Cheater’s sin against us.
