For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.
-2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV
I hate feeling powerless.
Yet feeling this feeling is part of the journey of grief. We must feel reality in order to heal. It is a hard truth that MUST be faced:
I was and am powerless to stop my Cheater from choosing and acting in sin.
A real temptation exists to deny this reality. We may even accept blame for their cheating in order to avoid feeling powerless. After all, if I am to blame–even partially–then I have some control over this mess. But that is a lie.
I only control me.
The hard reality is our spouse is fully responsible for their choices and sins. They will answer, not us, to God for them.
Do not give into the temptation to take blame for your Cheater’s sins.
You are NOT to blame. They are completely their own sins to own. And yes, that means you were and are powerless over their choices.
