¹³Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.”

-Genesis 16:13a, NLT

To be seen!

I think this is a human need: to be truly seen and known. This is what God did for Hagar in her time of distress following the birth of Ishmael and her running away from the abuse she experienced at Sarah’s hand.

When I think of situations where infidelity has happened, I feel like this is the cry from heart of faithful spouses:

We need to be seen!

The injustices need to be seen and named as such.

That is what it means–at least, in a significant part–to truly see a faithful spouse. You have to see the pain that they have experienced and not condemn them for their anger over all the gross injustice of it all. That’s part of “getting it” when it comes to supporting infidelity abuse survivors.