Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.

-John 3:22, NIV

Only seeking transparency and honesty?

No.

Rather, Cheaters are seeking information and power.

It is funny how Cheaters talk a big game about wanting transparency and honesty. The irony is how they had to engage in the opposite of both honesty and transparency in order to cheat on their spouse.

They are not seeking transparency and honesty. Or more precisely, they are not seeking to be transparent and honest with you.

Cheaters want a one way exchange of information. They want to know what you know about them. Plus, they want to know what you plan to do. That way they have all the knowledge–yours and theirs–and therefore, more power.

Cheaters are all about control and power. They do not want the narrative slipping out of their fingers.

So, they might make this innocent looking plea in front of a pastor or counselor. After all, who would oppose transparency and honesty in a relationship?!

Hopefully, you have a pastor or therapist who sees through this ploy and calls your Cheater on it.

It is unwise to be vulnerable to an abuser, and that is what a Cheater is–i.e. an abuser. They have demonstrated both a willingness and ability to abuse your trust and harm you through cheating. It is unwise to be open and transparent to such a person.

They are an unsafe person!

When they cheated, they lost the benefit of the doubt. Access to your heart needs to be earned back, if ever given again. They do not just get to demand access as if they are entitled to it. That’s arrogance and ought to be rebuked in the name of honesty!   😉

Do not fall for their sweet sounding words. They are not trying to repair the relationship but rather gain more power over you. Do not give them that!