PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT (PSA):
While I recommend finding a good therapist while going through the trauma of adultery (and/or divorce), not every marriage therapist is equal. I can tell you that just because it says LMFT after the therapist’s name (License Marriage and Family Therapist) does not mean they are trustworthy. Even after admittedly cheating for months, my ex-wife is still an LMFT! Reading infidelity forums will make it clear that it is not uncommon for LMFTs, pastors and other such helping professions to be themselves engaged in infidelity. An example of this is in another post.
A popular professional association for marriage therapists in the United States does not consider adultery a breach in ethics for one of their therapists. To quote from one of their lawyers, “The [Association’s] Code of Ethics does not prohibit adultery per se.” They only take action if the adultery partner is a client, former client, or family member associated with a client. The other possibility is if someone can demonstrate the adultery is effecting the quality of the counseling.
*Personally, I would recommend finding a therapist who ascribes to Dr. Clarke’s school of marriage counseling post-adultery (information and link under “Resources”).