Yesterday, I was on a social media site. As they do, they post connection suggestions. One of those was a picture of my ex and her new husband.
In that moment, I realized that she is just a stranger to me at this point.
All connection has been severed and cauterized. Thankfully.
Now in my 40s, I look back on the young, twenty-three year old man who married that person, and I realized how far I have come. I do not believe the same toxic things I used to back then. That person is a stranger in many ways, too.
God is so good and faithful!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
-Psalm 23:6, KJV
It has been over a decade from my divorce. And I have a new, wonderful life. God is good.
I write to encourage those who are new to all the shock and loss of infidelity discovery and divorce. It does get better!
It may feel now like it might never happen. However, I would encourage you that there is hope:
They like to play mind games on social media too ! I usually unfriend and block them.
I agree Michelle, not just in cases of cheating. It is nauseating sometimes to look at the duck lipped pictures of folks. I mean it is kind of normal, we did it with physical film back in the day. Everyone looked so happy in the family photos etc. Then we find out much of it was a lie.
Still nauseating, maybe it is just hard to go back to that life after experiencing ugly truth.
I have blocked so many folks, not because I don’t like them; but I just want to see random posts from the kids or grandkids. That is enough for me.
I realised that my adulterous STBXH had become a stranger during the fortnight after God had removed the blinders from my eyes. It was as if there was a changeling living with me, who looked and sounded like my husband and was trying to mimic him but couldn’t quite get it right! It felt fake to me!
By the time I had made up my mind to make him leave, it was more unbearable to me when he was here and up and about and talking to me than when he was off on the trot, on his cocaine-fuelled debauches with his darkened “pals” and hunting for women to betray me with! I couldn’t stand him being here!
When I emailed him I wanted an anullment and divorce, he waited until that night. He rang me just as I was putting my head down to go to sleep and I was not happy so I vented a bit. Then he came to the door, wouldn’t leave and asked me did I really want a divorce? Did I ? Yes I DO! says I! I really vented at him then, everything I’d wanted to say but had held back! I ended up saying to him with such scorn “What have you become? I don’t know you!”
Then I told him where to go!
I hate it when he comes for his stuff now, I get very anxious then upset and even a bit hurt when he leaves. I hate the hurt, I resent it, but I suppose it’s for who he used to be, or who I thought he was! This stranger, the changeling repels and scares me! Ugh!