Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.
-Song of Solomon 2:15, NIV
What would a “Christian Adultery Prevention Seminar” entail?
I think it all begins with healthy reminders about how we are all vulnerable to this sin when we marry another person. We only control whether or not we ourselves commit adultery.
We are also only accountable for our own actions and sins before God (see 2 Corinthians 5:10).
Next, I think the seminar would do well to have speaker(s) addressing “The Shared Responsibility Lie“–where people are taught the lie of joint responsibility for the sins of their married partner. The major theme of this seminar–if you haven’t noticed already–is personal responsibility and solid personal character.
Next, I think it would be good to deal with common lies cheater spew to “justify” their cheating. Exposing dark deeds to light might prevent some from going to that place (Ephesians 5:11).
After that, I think some testimonies sharing the devastation of adultery are in order. People need to know how bad this is! They need to see faces of faithful spouses who have survived the devastation.
Some correctional teaching about how God hates adultery more than divorce needs to happen during the seminar. This is to help couples who have heard all the warnings about divorce, yet they have not heard biblical teachings about God’s real heart on the matter. They need to understand the real danger–as I read the Bible–is adultery, not divorce!
This is a depressing seminar.
I wonder if anyone would sign up for it. Yet I think it would do many good to hear the truth in it.
Thank you! I remember years ago listening to a program on a Christian radio station that was from a well known parachurch organization. The topic was about adultery and those who had made it to the other side. This was years before my own experience.
I remember one couple in particular. The wife was the cheater and followed the typical script regarding issues in the marriage. She says at one point in the broadcast regarding her betrayed husband, “…he was just about right.” This was her assessment of him during their “reconciliation”. In other words, she cheated because of him and her dissatisfaction with the marriage. He, on the other hand, could only seem to focus on what she had done. Ironically, my WW and I both observed that he was not living in the same spiritual universe as his wife and nowhere near being healed or truly reconciled. This was all discernable on the radio. I’m curious if they’re still married.
Yikes! Yet I am not surprised. No wonder he focused on her actions… She sounds like she was still refusing responsibility for them. Not a godly marriage rebuild if they are still married.
I should have added that, knowing what I know now after experiencing it, I would sign up for your seminar. I’m usually late to the party.
I don’t know who vetted the couples. I think someone forgot to ask some basic questions. To me, a cheater who is truly remorseful and reconciled is reconciled to God first. There should be anguished weeping at what they have done as bearers of God’s image. Any testimony would focus on their willful and wanton sin, and how they set themselves up as their own God and the evil that that is. An adulterous Christian (oxymoron?), who is contrite doesn’t hide behind the sins of others but finally walks in the light and allows the darkest corners of their soul to be illuminated by the Spirit.
Yes. A truly remorseful cheater certainly doesn’t point to marriage conditions for why she cheated.
This!! They don’t try to give reasons to justify what is unjustifiable. If they are they are not remorseful.
TBT and TBH 👍
This seminar sounds like a good idea. Thanks for sharing 🙂