Anger towards “supporting characters”

God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day.

-Psalm 7:11, NLT

Oddly enough, my anger was often directed to other bad actors in my divorce instead of the prime character–my (now) ex-wife.

Certainly, I had good reason to feel angry towards those others. It was actually healthy to feel this feeling as they trampled on and otherwise disrespected my boundaries.

That said, the real problem was my cheater. They were simply “supporting cast members.”

I have subsequently worked through my feelings and issues of forgiveness towards these other characters. Sadly, most are simply God’s problem now and not mine as they demonstrated no remorse or repentance over what they did. That is fine. God will sort it, and I trust God.

However, I just wanted to point out that sometimes the emotional energy that we have towards others is really better focused on the cheater. They are the ones who were (are) cheating, after all!

 

The others bad behavior probably would not have mattered (or even happened, perhaps) if the cheater hadn’t started cheating and trying to cover for their cheating.

I think it was easier for me to direct my anger to these others (initially), because I did not want to see my cheater for who she was. It is hard facing the reality of what a cheating spouse did or is doing.

However, it is important that we do face that reality at some point for our own well-being. That includes processing our emotions–anger included–in a godly way.