But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them.”
-Matthew 20:25, NLT
“You will just keep that [her cheating] over her head forever [if she stayed married to you].”
-Cheater apologist
Some people view all relationships as a matter of who calls the shots. It is all about power.
As Jesus makes clear in Matthew 20:25, this is the non-Christian way of viewing power and position. A person thinking in this way is not thinking like a Christian.
Some cheaters will make a mess and run away from that mess divorcing the faithful spouse, because they are unwilling to humble themselves and engage in the practice of making restitution.
The idea of no longer being in power is something they cannot abide. So, they run away with their sick secrets.
A sad thing about such a move is that they take their spiritual sickness with them wherever they land. The only way out is through humble exposure of these sick secrets and making amends.
When a cheater is more concerned about the faithful spouse holding the argument “trump card” in their cheating history, the cheater is focusing on the wrong thing.
They fail to understand the gravity of their actions and their consequences. Such an individual lacks real empathy for the ones that they have heart. Plus, they fail to be open to real forgiveness as they deny a victim would ever willing choose NOT to use the sin against them.
Such cheaters think it will be used for as long as the marriage lasts because that is precisely what they would do!
Beware of such power struggle dynamics. They reveal lives left untouched in a meaningful way by Christ.
You just described my ex wife. She said I would always win any argument in the future because I held a “trump card”, her words. I told her I had no desire to hold that over her if we stayed together. I just didn’t understand that way of thinking.
It is so common for cheaters (& their apologists) to say such things. That is why I think it is demonic. An evil spiritual reality is behind it.