“But she looked so miserable.”

“But she looked so miserable. You must have been doing or not doing something to make her so.” -Cheater Apologist

What if–and this is apparently a radical idea–we treat wives and husbands as independently responsible for care-taking their own emotional lives.

I have no doubt some cheaters are truly miserable as their marriages come to an end. However, they are not victims of their circumstance.

(As a side note, notice how cheaters are almost never shamed for “being stuck in a victim mentality.” Their misery is somehow justified and the faithful spouse is somehow almost always to blamed. Funny how that works!)

It seems odd how blind some Christians are to the dynamics of cheating sometimes. They fall easily into the manipulations of cheaters bent on protecting their image.

The thought that a cheater might be miserable because they are lying and cheating is common sense that is less than common knowledge.

It drives me nuts how Christians preach personal responsibility to people who are not personally responsible for the mess before them–namely, the faithful spouse–while ignoring the real party needing the “personal responsibility” speech–namely, the cheater.

 This is just crazy!

If someone is a professing Christian and is cheating on their spouse, I suggest focusing that obvious disconnect between professed and lived values. You don’t have to look at their victims to figure out why they are miserable.

The cheater is doing enough to make themselves miserable on their own!