Thou shalt not commit adultery.
-Exodus 20:14, KJV
Can you “blow up” what has already been blown up?
This is a rhetorical question. My point is that divorce after adultery is a situation following such a “blow up” of the family.
The adulterous spouse blew up the family with their sins. A faithful spouse divorcing them is NOT at fault for that.
I wished more pastors and Christians understood this. The pressure on faithful spouses to not “blow up” the family by divorcing an abusive cheater is ungodly (e.g. Jeremiah 3:8).
The screeds preached from the pulpit against “blowing up” the family via divorce fail to acknowledge that divorce sometimes is a godly mercy to faithful spouses. I know mine was.
Pastors preaching against divorce are missing the target. The target ought to be the sins that lead towards divorce–i.e. sins like adultery. Such are proper targets for godly preaching.
A faithful spouse “blowing up” the family via divorce is not doing that. They are simply dealing with the broken pieces left behind by a selfish, adulterous partner. Such a person does not need the shaming of the “Christian” community on top of that unjust trauma.
It sure doesn’t seem like a mercy at times. Being alone and unattractive is not fun. I do what I can but it’s discouraging.
Dear: Divorce Minister
I was forced to separate from my abusive, alcoholic cheating now ex-husband. However, I did not want a divorce. Nevertheless, he (my ex-husband) filed for divorce from me ten months after I separated from him. I sought Godly Spiritual and emotional support from various Christian churches, and they added insults to my injuries. The emotional pain I suffered was so unbearable that I consistently begged God, the Lord Jesus Christ, to take me out of this world. If it were not for God’s grace, mercy and love, I would not have survived all the suffering I endured before and after the divorce. Today, I am still emotionally scarred and traumatized by it all. Nevertheless, I am thankful that God delivered me, in the Name of Christ Jesus.