In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, Because He was angry. -Psalm 18:6-7, NKJV My God gets … Continue reading “My God gets angry!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Souls endure, not marriages
For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. -Matthew 22:30, KJV This verse is very clear. Jesus tells us human marriage does not endure in heaven. Since this is true, spiritual counsel ought to take this into account. The priority ought to … Continue reading “Souls endure, not marriages”
Psychopaths do exist. Wise Christians face this truth.
Christians can be incredibly naive. They want to live in a world where people have adaptive feeling of shame and guilt over wrong-doing. However, not everyone has those buttons. A wise pastor faces this difficult reality: Psychopaths do exist! Part of facing that reality is learning to recognize when one is being “played” by these … Continue reading “Psychopaths do exist. Wise Christians face this truth.”
Anchoring our hearts on truth
Sometimes cheaters will push us off our balance with their confident lies. The antidote to lies is truth. Our journey to healthy spirituality is a journey of growing deeper in our understanding of truth. Truth is reality. Cheaters deal in fiction and lies. Some have been dealing in such worlds so long that they have … Continue reading “Anchoring our hearts on truth”
DM, Why do they still support the cheater?
Dear Divorce Minister, I was married to a minister for 21 years. I knew after a year of marriage that my marriage was over as he was cheating on me with a high school student. When I confronted him, the narcissistic abuse began and continued until he asked for a divorce after he got caught … Continue reading “DM, Why do they still support the cheater?”
Pastors as spiritual advisers, NOT dictators!
11 No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. 12 And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. -1 Corinthians 2:11-12, NLT A good pastor understands he (or … Continue reading “Pastors as spiritual advisers, NOT dictators!”
Divorce Minister, Can you help?
Hi, I need help addressing my elders in my church regarding adultery. My husband had an affair with another member. I caught him, he was sorry. The pastor had the girl apologize and say she wouldn’t contact my husband again. It was very hard, but I forgave my husband, and we tried to work … Continue reading “Divorce Minister, Can you help?”
Ambiguous Loss Article
Today, I came across an article (click here) that labels divorce as an “ambiguous loss.” When I saw the article, I thought of how having a name for it might help some who read here. To be clear, I do not agree with the advice the author gives to the person who made the advice … Continue reading “Ambiguous Loss Article”
Shameless sinners
But the Lord is still there in the city, and he does no wrong.Day by day he hands down justice, and he does not fail. But the wicked know no shame. -Zephaniah 3:5, NLT Shameful behavior deserves to be treated as shameful behavior. I believe in unconditional love. However, I do believe we must reject a life of shameful … Continue reading “Shameless sinners”
Please, don’t bother!
If your cheater refuses to stop cheating AND demonstrate to YOUR satisfaction that the affairs are done for good… …then please do NOT bother trying to reconcile! This is not a workable situation. You do not deserve to remain in an abusive situation as that is what a marriage to an active cheater is. Both … Continue reading “Please, don’t bother!”