For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, NLT Sometimes choosing divorce is the best of bad options left for a faithful spouse. This is why I cite this wisdom verse. It is allegedly written by the wisest of all humans–bar Jesus–King Solomon. Everything means everything. That includes … Continue reading “Sometimes it is time for divorce.”
Category: Trauma of adultery
No one deserves the adulterous betrayal and discard!
Two wrongs do not make a right. -Moms around the world No one ever deserves the adulterous betrayal and discard. Another way of saying this is to say that NOTHING justifies committing sins against another. I do not read the Bible ever giving us permission to sin. Adultery is sin. Discarding a faithful spouse after cheating on … Continue reading “No one deserves the adulterous betrayal and discard!”
Vulnerable, vulnerable, vulnerable!
Beware that the ending of your marriage leaves you vulnerable! I am not suggesting living in fear. However, I recommend a sober-eyed assessment about how your needs leave you open to unhealthy relationships. In separation and early divorce, you are grieving and learning how to deal with loneliness and loss of intimacy with the opposite … Continue reading “Vulnerable, vulnerable, vulnerable!”
Cheaters “under the influence”
Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit…. Ephesians 5:18, NIV What if your cheater was drunk or “under the influence” of another drug when she cheated? I actually have more hope for those marriages than the ones where a substance was not involved. My reasoning is the … Continue reading “Cheaters “under the influence””
Probably will always touch my heart….
It happened again today. I was watching a reality TV show, and the owner of a restaurant shared his story of divorce from the mother of his children who cheated on him with a younger man, a teenager! He discovered his then wife’s infidelity when she became pregnant even though he had had a vasectomy. … Continue reading “Probably will always touch my heart….”
Ever an excuse to engage in abuse of another?! No.
I am convinced adultery is always abusive. Always. You cannot cheat on a spouse without abusing their trust minimally. Plus, I have yet to discover a story involving adultery where a period of deception did not take place–however, brief. In addition to that, I believe based on my reading of Scripture that adultery is soul … Continue reading “Ever an excuse to engage in abuse of another?! No.”
Unconditional Love and Consequences
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” -Hebrews 12:5b-6, NIV I totally believe God loves us, His children, with an unconditional love. Our place in God’s heart is not determine … Continue reading “Unconditional Love and Consequences”
Good Christian or Cheater? Not both.
Good Christian or Cheater? You choose. You don’t get both. “Christian” cheaters hate having their infidelity exposed. They despise the inconvenience it causes them. It shatters their image as a “good Christian” for anyone with a modicum of theological sense…as it ought to. The thing is that a cheater must choose between their life of lies … Continue reading “Good Christian or Cheater? Not both.”
Sure, divorce is avoidable…
Sure divorce is avoidable… …just don’t commit adultery or marry someone who cheats. This is obviously easier said than done. Most people do not go into a marriage assuming they will cheat (sadly some are already) or their partner will cheat. The vows to forsake all others are taken seriously by at least one party…usually. Yet … Continue reading “Sure, divorce is avoidable…”
Save your breath
Don’t waste your breath on fools, for they will despise the wisest advice. -Proverbs 23:9, NLT Cheaters are stuck in the fools’ camp when they are stuck in their cheating ways. They only greater fools are the pastors and Christian leaders thinking they can convince the cheater through wise words to halt their folly. … Continue reading “Save your breath”