Michael wrote: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian friend that really bothered me. It’s days later and I’m still bothered, hurt by his comments. Long story short, we got onto the topic of my divorce. Normally, I avoid this topic with this specific person. He is the one who told me about … Continue reading “Mailbag: This weekend I had a conversation with a Christian “friend”…”
Category: Trauma of adultery
“God hates divorce” is not enough, pastors!
Faithful Spouse: “My wife left and cheated on me.” Pastor: “Well, God hates divorce.” [Awkward silence] A minister whose only response to adultery and abandonment is to tell the faithful spouse “God hates divorce” is a minister who is not truly ready and equipped to provide godly, pastoral counsel. To use such a verse in … Continue reading ““God hates divorce” is not enough, pastors!”
Tell the kids!
Recently, I binge watched a new British crime drama on Netflix, Marcella. One of several story lines in this drama is between the main character, Marcella, and her husband. Marcella comes back to work around the time her husband leaves her, and she discovers his mistress who happens to be a young coworker and daughter … Continue reading “Tell the kids!”
Mr. Pickles, the cat
The ravens brought him bread and meat each morning and evening, and he drank from the brook. -I Kings 17:6, NLT This verse is about how God used His creatures to care for His prophet, Elijah. I quote it as a model of how God continues to use animals to care for the dear humans … Continue reading “Mr. Pickles, the cat”
Wedding Day Reminder–Only First Day Of Choosing “I Do”!
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. -Genesis 2:24, KJV Marrying someone is a choice. At least, it is a choice in the modern Western world where having the freedom to choose is a major legal basis of regarding the … Continue reading “Wedding Day Reminder–Only First Day Of Choosing “I Do”!”
Common (False) Narratives Need Correcting!
Church ought to be a place where adultery victims can come to find support and comfort. Sadly, it often is quite the opposite. It is hard to admit to another Christian that you have been cheated on, discarded, and divorced by your spouse. This difficulty arises because two deeply entrenched narratives too frequently follow that … Continue reading “Common (False) Narratives Need Correcting!”
Is the testimony of a proven liar worth hearing, pastors?
The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth. -Proverbs 12:22, NLT One of the ironies from my ecclesiastical trial to retain my minister’s license was how committed the denominational official leading the inquiry was in obtaining my ex-wife’s testimony regarding our marriage. It is ironic as I seem to … Continue reading “Is the testimony of a proven liar worth hearing, pastors?”
Worldly Sorrow
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern,what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent … Continue reading “Worldly Sorrow”
Mismatched Values
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatched Values”
Others can be wrong. Let them!
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! -Isaiah 5:20, KJV Part of the injustice faithful spouses often experience is a community of people–even confessing Christians–who will not accept what happened or do and then … Continue reading “Others can be wrong. Let them!”