“Can’t you see?! You’ve divorced her in your heart.” -“Christian” Lay Counselor Such a statement is highly irresponsible. It is like waving catnip in front of a cheater. They are likely to take this statement and go forth to act as if they are truly not married (even though they are). A “Christian” leader trying to … Continue reading “Ungodly Counsel as Catnip to Cheaters”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Cheaters Are NOT Martyrs But Rather Aggressors!
And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” –I Corinthians 6:16, NLT Cheaters seem to enjoy playing the “martyr card.” They claim their spouse did not give them enough sex or emotional attention. “We … Continue reading “Cheaters Are NOT Martyrs But Rather Aggressors!”
Worthy of Basic Respect and Love!
See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. -I John 3:1a, NASB With pastors and other Christian leaders, it can sometimes feel like the faithful spouse is on trial regarding the infidelity or divorce. Behind the questions regarding how my … Continue reading “Worthy of Basic Respect and Love!”
A Most Reasonable Expectation
“…let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts….” -Hosea 2:2b, KJV Reasonable Expectation: A faithful spouse should expect a cheating spouse–whether emotional and/or physical–will demonstrate that the affair is completely over and steps have been taken to fix the character flaw in the cheater that … Continue reading “A Most Reasonable Expectation”
At What Point Is the Affair Considered “Physical” Biblically?
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” -Matthew 5:27-28, NIV “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” -Matthew … Continue reading “At What Point Is the Affair Considered “Physical” Biblically?”
Cheaters Have a God-Sized Problem!
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. -Psalm 51:4, NIV You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made … Continue reading “Cheaters Have a God-Sized Problem!”
But God was faithful to us while we were faithless!
“Return, O faithless sons, I will heal your faithlessness.” “Behold, we come to You; For You are the Lord our God. -Jeremiah 3:22, NASB “You should take him back. After all, God takes us back when we have sinned and been unfaithful to Him.” – Christian “friend” Even God required repentance as a condition for … Continue reading “But God was faithful to us while we were faithless!”
Not there to solve the marriage problems!
Attending marriage counseling with a cheater on the way out of the marriage is a very confusing experience. At least in my experience–I know there are some exceptions to this–marriage counselors and pastors are often not equipped to identify tell-tale cheating and exiting behavior then use that information to help protect the faithful partner. The … Continue reading “Not there to solve the marriage problems!”
Pastoral Resource: Addressing Adulterous Situations
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may … Continue reading “Pastoral Resource: Addressing Adulterous Situations”
Christian Divorce Support and Feeding “Miracle” Thinking
DivorceCare did me a great deal of good. I know I will forever be thankful for the people I met in the DivorceCare group while I was working in St. Cloud, MN. God definitely directed me to that community and group. As you can tell by visiting my RESOURCES page, I encourage people to find … Continue reading “Christian Divorce Support and Feeding “Miracle” Thinking”