The other day I saw a reel where someone wrote into a show for relationship advice.
They wanted to know what to do about responding (or not) to the fiancé of their ex-husband who wanted to know if he had a history of infidelity. The ex-husband was telling the writer that she shouldn’t respond to his fiancé, of course.
Instead of highlighting how controlling the ex-husband is being, the advice dispenser told the ex-wife to essentially stay out of their relationship.
I want to be clear:
YOU DO NOT OWE YOUR CHEATER YOUR SILENCE!
It seems odd to me to focus on the faithful spouse not “interfering” in the ex-husband’s relationship.
How about seeing the ex-husband trying to tell his ex-wife what she can and cannot say? How about seeing how he is attempting to control the narrative even after the divorce?
Obviously, you want to be careful if you have court orders or a custody situation that talking could complicate. However, you do not need to lie for your ex-spouse. AND you do not owe his fiancé a response, either.
The fiancé is an adult. You are an adult. The request not to share strikes me as odd–it suggests he is withholding this information from her.
I am all about consent and allowing people to decide for themselves apart from manipulation–like having critical information withheld from them.
So, I would support telling the truth–briefly and factually:
