Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. -Proverbs 20:11, KJV Reality can be a slippery thing to grasp sometimes. Nowhere is this more evident than coming to terms with the actual person one has married upon discovery of infidelity. The temptation is to ignore the … Continue reading “Actions, actions, actions!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
PSA: You Don’t Hide “Platonic” Friendships
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV Public Service Announcement: People Don’t Hide “Platonic” Friendships! Until one is in such a situation, one might never think about this commonsense principle. Innocent people usually act like innocent people. Guilty people … Continue reading “PSA: You Don’t Hide “Platonic” Friendships”
THOSE “Friends”
If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both must die. Purge that evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, The Message (emphasis mine) Those “friends” One of the most difficult lessons I learned from discovering my first wife’s adultery and going through divorce is that it is okay–in fact, good–to have deal-breakers in friendships. … Continue reading “THOSE “Friends””
Treachery Teaching: A Mark Driscoll Heresy
And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy … Continue reading “Treachery Teaching: A Mark Driscoll Heresy”
Let’s make church a place for the sinned-against, too!
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. -Matthew 9:36, NIV Protestant churches are places for sinners. True. Are they places for those sinned against? Of course, we are all sinners in a need of our Savior (see Romans 3:23). Yet some … Continue reading “Let’s make church a place for the sinned-against, too!”
And then it makes sense.
Relief. The months of stone-cold or downright cruel responses. Warmth disappearing overnight like a Minnesotan May blizzard. It all started to make sense. I wasn’t imagining things. The Other Man. He existed. Had existed for months! This is one of the strangest and most surreal parts of discovering infidelity. The moment of confirmation is not only … Continue reading “And then it makes sense.”
Real Talk: When It Hurts SO MUCH!
***Important Disclaimer: Please seek appropriate mental health help if you are experiencing thoughts of suicide and especially if you have a plan to take your life! Divorce Minister is not a mental health provider and therefore not a substitute for direct and professional help for mental health needs. DM is a pastor, not a therapist.*** It was … Continue reading “Real Talk: When It Hurts SO MUCH!”
Protestantism, Forgiveness, and Failing Adultery Victims
So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great. -Job 2:13, KJV Protestantism is big on sin and forgiveness. Emphasis on sin and forgiveness is pervasive through evangelical teaching and preaching. That is good. … Continue reading “Protestantism, Forgiveness, and Failing Adultery Victims”
Feeding False Hope In “Reconciliation”
Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “Feeding False Hope In “Reconciliation””
Where are the godly divorced testimonies?
Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. -Matthew 1:19, NIV And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; … Continue reading “Where are the godly divorced testimonies?”