twitching wrote, My husband is a senior pastor in a Presbyterian (PCUSA) church. He has been having an affair for at least 2 years with a woman in our former church, about 10 hours by car away. I told 2 elders and they have done nothing but keep his secret. Meanwhile, I left and am … Continue reading “Mailbag: My husband is a cheating pastor, and I am at a loss.”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Janet Mefferd On Pastor Tullian Tchividjian’s Adulterous Fall
Janet Mefferd is a former news reporter who comes from the Christian broadcasting field (more info here). She confronted Pastor Mark Driscoll for his alleged plagarism in November 2013 and was roundly criticized for such a direct confrontation. Some disagree over how that interview was handled, and she even apologized for doing it, but my … Continue reading “Janet Mefferd On Pastor Tullian Tchividjian’s Adulterous Fall”
No matter how much you care…
…you don’t get to choose repentance for them. “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve….But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24:15a,c, NIV I remember sitting in a sermon series with a pastor–i.e. Pastor Dom of … Continue reading “No matter how much you care…”
Comfort Affairs And Pastor Tullian Tchividjian’s Tragic Fall
Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may … Continue reading “Comfort Affairs And Pastor Tullian Tchividjian’s Tragic Fall”
Mailbag: Was this the persecution that GOD was calling me to endure?
Sheila wrote (for original post/comment thread see here): My estranged husband has been unfaithful to me from the time we met until now. I suspected all of that time but didn’t have any hard evidence to prove it long ago. When I went to the church about it I was told to stop judging him … Continue reading “Mailbag: Was this the persecution that GOD was calling me to endure?”
You Will Never Hear Jesus Say…
You will never hear Jesus say to an adultery/infidelity survivor… 1. “You do realize that you deserved this, right?!” Truth: No one deserves to be cheated on. God demands everyone honor the marriage bed and keep it undefiled (see Hebrews 13:4). And God consistently condemns adultery including it as prohibited explicitly in the Ten Commandments (e.g. Exodus … Continue reading “You Will Never Hear Jesus Say…”
Remember Your “Cistern Story”
So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the ornate robe he was wearing—and they took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no water in it. – Genesis 37:23-24, NIV What’s your “Cistern Story?” Can you think of a time when your world was … Continue reading “Remember Your “Cistern Story””
Stand Firm
The Lord is pleased with good people, but condemns those who plan evil. Wickedness does not give security, but righteous people stand firm. -Proverbs 12:2-3, GNT A regret? Maybe. I remember confronting my ex-wife one Sunday afternoon following church. It was an encounter that is forever burned into my memory. Vividly, I remember how she … Continue reading “Stand Firm”
“We were already divorced in our hearts.”
For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine.Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. – 2 Timothy 4:3, NIV Another Common Demonic Lie: “You know that we were already divorced in … Continue reading ““We were already divorced in our hearts.””
More Bad Advice
“Just let her know you are there waiting. Hold the space for the marriage.” – Pastor God did not wait forever for Israel. We see that in Jeremiah 3:8. God accepted Israel’s decisions to choose against the covenant by pursuing adulterous relationships. This is part of the reason I find the advice above unhelpful. It … Continue reading “More Bad Advice”