Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. – 2 Cor. 7:10, NIV When you see the fruit of advice destroying someone or yourself, you are seeing something bringing death as this verse tells us. This is not from God. God is not one who came … Continue reading “Discerning godly sorrow”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Magnanimous Cheaters (or so they think)
“I have to leave you. It is for the good of our marriage,” says the magnanimous cheater. Some cheaters love to paint themselves as the generous one. They claim their motives are pure or even for the faithful spouse’s own good. I even suspect some cheaters even believe these things! The problem with such “magnanimous” cheaters … Continue reading “Magnanimous Cheaters (or so they think)”
Adultery, abortion, and divorce
I wonder. I wonder how many faithful fathers never got to meet their children. The cheater decided she rather abort than carry the child to term. I wonder. No statistics exist on this matter. So, I wonder. I am sure it happens. Cheaters are famous for dodging responsibility. A child is a huge responsibility. This … Continue reading “Adultery, abortion, and divorce”
Cheaters as real bullies
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV We hear stories in the news of bullies pushing people to kill themselves. It is truly awful. (By the way, please call 911 or reach out for emergency medical assistance if you are seriously considering suicide. The … Continue reading “Cheaters as real bullies”
DM, How did you move forward into a new relationship with Mrs. DM?
Hi DM, Question for you. How were you able to move forward with Mrs. DM with regards to trust? I am most likely getting divorced and am afraid that I would carry the scars of my WH’s serial infidelity/dishonesty into the next relationship (if I were to be brave enough to try to love again). … Continue reading “DM, How did you move forward into a new relationship with Mrs. DM?”
Being an adultery victim AND …
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV While adultery victims are not less than victims of their cheaters, they are also more. They are FAITHFUL SPOUSES! SURVIVORS. Just because we have been cheated upon does not mean … Continue reading “Being an adultery victim AND …”
The destructive case of the “what if’s”
“What if what the cheater is saying about me is true?!” -frets the faithful spouse This is a destructive “What if?” Faithful spouses stuck in this “What if?” are in real danger of spiritual and emotional destruction. They are allowing the daggers of cheater lies dig deeper into their heart. My encouragement is to remember … Continue reading “The destructive case of the “what if’s””
Cheaters weaponizing “friends”
For I have heard the slander of many: fear was on every side: while they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life. -Psalm 31:13, KJV Some cheaters are especially skillful manipulators. They can keep up a double life for months if not years! While living these lies, they suck others … Continue reading “Cheaters weaponizing “friends””
Faithful spouses, you are awesome!
After months, years, or even decades of emotional beat-downs, faithful spouses often struggle in knowing their incredible worth. We discount our gifts, abilities, and precious status in God’s eyes. Faithful spouses, you are an incredible bunch! The stories I hear and the people I have met through this ministry confirms this fact to me. I … Continue reading “Faithful spouses, you are awesome!”
Accusations of image manipulations
Cheaters sometimes accuse faithful spouses of their own (hidden) behavior. A common one I have heard is the cheater accusing the faithful spouse of cheating! This happens while they are actually the ones cheating. It is crazy! As this post suggests, a cheater might accuse the faithful spouse of duping their family and close friends while … Continue reading “Accusations of image manipulations”