Did you ever feel like the big, bad parent with your cheater? I think sometimes some engage in cheating behavior as a way to try and resolve family issues (non-therapist speaking here). They did not feel safe to do that with their mother or father. So, the faithful spouse gets all their rebellion in its … Continue reading “Grown toddler tantrums”
Category: Cheating
Learning to like oneself.
How could I have missed that?! I do not know if you can relate to asking this question of yourself. However, I think the fractured relationship with oneself is a relationship almost always needing attention. Part of the devastation of discovering a cheating spouse is discovering the deception was ongoing for a long period of time, … Continue reading “Learning to like oneself.”
A problem not for a spouse to solve
21 Under three things the earth quakes, And under four, it cannot bear up: … 23 Under an unloved woman when she gets a husband, And a maidservant when she supplants her mistress. -Proverbs 30:21, 23, NASB (emphasis mine) I can still picture the moment… We had just moved into our first home we bought together, and … Continue reading “A problem not for a spouse to solve”
Recognize the “tip” of the “Cheating Iceberg”
When dealing with a cheater who has lived a double life for months (or years), you likely only know a small part of the deception and infidelity. They have been at this deception for a while. What you know now is a fractured partial of the story, and they have demonstrated an unwillingness to clue … Continue reading “Recognize the “tip” of the “Cheating Iceberg””
A decade of changes
A decade ago, I was about to depart to cross half the country for my residency in Chaplaincy. I had just discovered the Other Man who had been part of the picture for months prior to my knowledge. The summer of 2012 was a highly unpleasant summer for me. It felt hopeless, honestly. My marriage … Continue reading “A decade of changes”
Do not feed Cheater contempt!
Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT While I believe we can all learn from our mistakes and sins in a relationship, I caution against the counsel to own our marriage sins with a cheater in active infidelity. … Continue reading “Do not feed Cheater contempt!”
Frustration of seeing the wicked prosper
In this life, good people are often treated as though they were wicked, and wicked people are often treated as though they were good. This is so meaningless! -Ecclesiastes 8:14b, NLT These words seem like they were written today and not as they were–i.e. thousands of years earlier! I bet many here can relate to … Continue reading “Frustration of seeing the wicked prosper”
Entrust Your Situation To God
He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. -I Peter 2:23, NLT The secret to dealing with injustice is remembering a higher court exists and we know its Judge is good. Faith in this Judge allows … Continue reading “Entrust Your Situation To God”
Totally seared
Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron…. -I Timothy 4:2, KJV Hypocritical liars will deceive many, and their consciences won’t bother them at all! -I Timothy 4:2, TPT While this verse is really about false teachers leading people astray, I think it applies to cheaters as well. This verse reminds … Continue reading “Totally seared”
Toxic “Christian” Leaders
15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? -James 2:14-16, NIV Plenty of Christian leaders will tell you that they love you and are praying … Continue reading “Toxic “Christian” Leaders”