At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there. -John 19:41-42, NIV When dealing with a cheater and the devastation wrought by their … Continue reading “A Holy Saturday sort of feel!”
Category: Cheating
New and BETTER life a decade later!
Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours. -Isaiah 61:7, NIV A decade ago. My cheater walked out of my life a decade ago abandoning me and our marriage. … Continue reading “New and BETTER life a decade later!”
False hope feeding
Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… …feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “False hope feeding”
Forgiven, yet not?
Christ suffered for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. -I Peter 3:18a, NLT You can forgive a cheater without the cheater being forgiven. This is a paradoxical truth about forgiveness. Both are true. You have truly forgiven your cheater. However, … Continue reading “Forgiven, yet not?”
Don’t focus on the poo!
Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. -I Thessalonians 5:18, NLT My wife and I have adopted two rescue parrots.* They are both Green Cheek Conures. I did not grow up with birds. Mrs. DM did. In fact, she told me parrots are her preferred … Continue reading “Don’t focus on the poo!”
Foolish people
Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. -Proverbs 18:2, NLT In my season of suffering, I found some people simply do not want to hear my pain. They didn’t want to understand. These people were set in their beliefs about divorce. They were happy to share their judgment … Continue reading “Foolish people”
PSA: Contempt indicates the marriage is truly DONE!
When a wicked man comes, contempt also comes, And with dishonor comes scorn. -Proverbs 18:3, NASB Public Service Announcement (PSA): When a cheater shows contempt for you, it is time to leave the relationship. I am talking more than simply the act of cheating–which is truly an act of contempt. Rather, I am talking about interactions with … Continue reading “PSA: Contempt indicates the marriage is truly DONE!”
You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater!
You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater. Walk away. Hang up the phone. End the session. A responsible pastor would do this for you in a session. Minimally, the pastor would correct the Cheater. However, you do not have to be passive in these situations. You have agency! If … Continue reading “You do not have to take the lecture from the morally bankrupt Cheater!”
If your cheater is still making demands…
If your cheater is still making demands…. …then you can be assured that they are not really sorry about cheating and did not really “get” the devastation of their sin against you. A person who cheats and grasps how awful a betrayal it is will not then turn on the faithful party to make relationship … Continue reading “If your cheater is still making demands…”
Cheater-Speak Manipulation: “I protected YOUR reputation….”
“I protected YOUR reputation with our friends,” says Cheater. The manipulation is the Cheater expects the “same” in return. (I use scare quotes as I doubt the Cheater actually did this.) They assume here the faithful spouse will lie for the cheater in order to make them look good to their mutual friends. I say … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak Manipulation: “I protected YOUR reputation….””