Don’t follow after the wicked ones or be jealous of their wealth. Don’t think for a moment they’re better off than you. They and their short-lived success will soon shrivel up and quickly fade away like grass clippings in the hot sun. -Psalm 37:1-2, TPT Much energy can be wasted in cheater envy. Been there. Done … Continue reading “Do not envy”
Category: Cheating
Jonah’s Nineveh: Models Real Repentance
7 Then the king and his nobles sent this decree throughout the city: “No one, not even the animals from your herds and flocks, may eat or drink anything at all. 8 People and animals alike must wear garments of mourning, and everyone must pray earnestly to God. They must turn from their evil ways and stop … Continue reading “Jonah’s Nineveh: Models Real Repentance”
Bad enough for you to move on!
A cheater does not need to be a total monster in order to be bad for you. I suspect most cheaters (if not all) have some “redeeming” qualities about themselves. If they didn’t, we probably never would have married them in the first place. They are mix–like all of us–of good and bad traits. But … Continue reading “Bad enough for you to move on!”
Cheater-Speak: “How dare you insist I wear my wedding ring!”
“How dare you insist I wear my wedding ring!” -Petulant Cheater A cheater may take off her ring in order to avoid the constant reminder of her infidelity. This symbolic act speaks volumes. There is a reason we exchange rings in marriage ceremonies. The symbol is indicative of the vows exchanged between the couple before … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “How dare you insist I wear my wedding ring!””
A Reminder: Not your shame to bear!
Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away [i.e. divorce her] privily. -Matthew 1:19, KJV If you grew up in a church where divorce was taught as always wrong, you may find it hard to NOT internalize divorce shame and stigma. … Continue reading “A Reminder: Not your shame to bear!”
What if the miracle IS the merciful divorce?
Now the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning…. -Job 42:12a, NKJV What if the divorce is the mercy or “miracle” you truly need? It feels blasphemous to even raise this question. However, I think it is a legitimate question. Sometimes, the divorce is the best of bad options for a faithful spouse. In fact, … Continue reading “What if the miracle IS the merciful divorce?”
Talking justice and forgivness
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t cheap … Continue reading “Talking justice and forgivness”
Cheater-Speak: Aren’t I allowed to have friends?!
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.” -Matthew 7:15, NLT “Aren’t I allowed to have ‘friends?!’” -Cheater I think this is one of the most dangerous tools at the disposal of cheaters. It effectively puts the faithful spouse on the defensive as he or she tries … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: Aren’t I allowed to have friends?!”
Forgiveness does NOT eliminate natural consequences!
13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NIV God forgave David for murder and adultery. It says so here. However, God … Continue reading “Forgiveness does NOT eliminate natural consequences!”
Church-y advice about “both sides”
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight! -Isaiah 5:21, NKJV The practice of some pastors is to treat adultery on the same level as failure to do one’s share of the household chores. They are not the same! Faithful spouses are already primed to take on more responsibility … Continue reading “Church-y advice about “both sides””