All sort of lies are spoken about faithful spouses. Cheaters are especially “good” at the discard. They speak distorted things about who we are in order to feel better as if they are discarding us like trash. It helps them to think of us that way. You do not have to believe their lies about … Continue reading “Choose truthful, supportive beliefs”
Category: Cheating
Minimizing labeling affairs
“You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NKJV Does it make it any less sinful to cheat if the marriage is troubled? The correct answer to this is “No.” Adultery is adultery. Sin is sin. Circumstances around the sin do not matter as far as determining if the behavior is sin or not. I see … Continue reading “Minimizing labeling affairs”
My secular divorce lawyer
When I got divorced back in 2012, I had a good divorce lawyer. She was probably the clearest-eyed professional in the whole saga ending. It was a flat fee sort of thing. Looking back, I am grateful that somehow I found this lawyer seeing how divorce attorneys can be very expensive. Now, we had a … Continue reading “My secular divorce lawyer”
Cheater “honesty”
“Well, I have learned that I have to be open and honest. You never … (fill-in the cheater’s pet accusation of faithful spouse).” -Cheater to pastor/couple’s counselor Does this ring a bell for anyone? If it does, I submit it does as it is part of the demonic playbook to destroy faithful spouses. To be clear, I am … Continue reading “Cheater “honesty””
Late blooming “rebels”
A theory I have about some cheaters is that they are simply behaving like adolescents who never felt free to rebel against authoritarian parents. Maybe they were always the “good girl” or “good boy” in the family to keep the peace? Then they grew up and married; however, they never really discovered what they believed as they … Continue reading “Late blooming “rebels””
Practical Theology Question: Can Cheaters Remarry?
“And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” -Mark 10:12, NIV Can a cheater remarry? The simple answer to this question is “Yes.” However, the full answer is more complicated than that. It is like asking if a spouse can cheat? Yes, but… If the question is whether a … Continue reading “Practical Theology Question: Can Cheaters Remarry?”
“Toxic Shame” Cheater Excuse
“Talking about it just triggers my toxic shame. I can’t face what I did.” -Cheater This is a real conundrum for a faithful spouse. It is hard to heal when you do not have some of the basic facts and your spouse is refusing to help on that number citing “toxic shame.” The “toxic … Continue reading ““Toxic Shame” Cheater Excuse”
Lysa TerKeurst Divorcing, Apparently
TerKeust, who has five children, said she believes the “wisest (and hardest) choice I can make is to stop fighting to save my marriage of 29 years and, instead, accept reality.” -from “Lysa TerKeurst announces divorce after battling to save marriage, standing ‘firm’ in faith despite pain” by Leah MarieAnn Klett in The Christian Post, Sunday, January … Continue reading “Lysa TerKeurst Divorcing, Apparently”
Demonic Component of Cheating
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. -I Peter 5:8, NKJV When I speak of the demonic and cheating, I want to be clear. I do NOT believe or support the idea of a cheater being a mere victim of the demonic. … Continue reading “Demonic Component of Cheating”
Cheater Martyr
“Let’s separate. I think that would be best for us both to heal,” says Cheater. Some cheaters will attempt to cloak their sins in robes of nobility. They will profess mutual benefit while using such as a cover to betray they spouse. That is just how some cheaters “roll.” They play the long-suffering martyr. However, … Continue reading “Cheater Martyr”