I do NOT hate divorce!

“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” -Malachi 2:16, NLT “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of … Continue reading “I do NOT hate divorce!”

Others’ disbelief is unhelpful

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. -Luke 8:17, NIV Discovering infidelity is disorienting. What a faithful spouse needs are clear heads. What a faithful spouse does NOT need is someone feeding their disbelief over the cheating. An … Continue reading “Others’ disbelief is unhelpful”

Healing Validation

Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Healing Validation”

Silence IS sin!

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV If you know something, say something. It is that simple. We are commanded to expose the “deeds of darkness,” NOT to keep them hidden. Adultery definitely qualifies as such a dark deed. Imagine learning a “friend” knew for … Continue reading “Silence IS sin!”

“Telling” to manipulate

“Telling” to Manipulate Normally, a Cheater coming “clean” with what they did is a good sign that you have something to work with (if you so choose). Yet how they disclose is important and can completely invalidate that hope. If your Cheater discloses and then launches into how you “drove them” to cheat, this is not repentance … Continue reading ““Telling” to manipulate”

Accused of being “manipulative”

Oh, the joys of those who do not     follow the advice of the wicked,     or stand around with sinners,     or join in with mockers. -Psalm 1:1, NLT Cheaters often project their own treacherous behavior or character upon their marks. This is what is happening, in my opinion, when Cheaters call faithful spouses “manipulative.” They are … Continue reading “Accused of being “manipulative””