A few months back, I watched a video where the commentator talked about cheating and likened it to cake. I am riffing off that commentary today. Affairs are like walking into the kitchen to find your Cheater holding two chocolate chip cookies…. You say, “You know that you aren’t supposed to be eating chocolate chip … Continue reading “Affairs are like chocolate chip cookies”
Category: Cheating
Dear DM, What about porn use?
Dear DM, It was a Godsend to come across your blog after as the evangelical Christian community’s biased view of divorce versus adultery is so prevalent, harsh, and unBiblical. Anyway, my current personal situation with marital infidelity is primarily related to decades of unrepentant porn use by my husband that has escalated over the years … Continue reading “Dear DM, What about porn use?”
Time for “new thing”
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes the marriage is not fixable, and it comes time to focus on a new thing. A cheater who refuses to repent makes a marriage not fixable. It would be unwise to reinvest in a … Continue reading “Time for “new thing””
Cheater-Speak: “We don’t have any money.”
“We don’t have any money,” says Cheater. Then she spends on expensive dining out and travel with her paramour. It was never about the lack of money. The point about saying that you are without money is that they are uninterested in spending money on you and your needs. Their desires and wishes are worth … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “We don’t have any money.””
Not the role of a spouse
Free Marriage Advice: If you are looking to your spouse to prove that you are lovable, you are looking to the wrong person. When we look to humans to fill a God-shaped hole, we will always be disappointed. Humans were never intended to “fix” us. Only God can satisfy the deepest longings in our souls. … Continue reading “Not the role of a spouse”
Do not settle for being part of their “harem”
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT Some Cheaters would love to stay on “friendly” terms even after divorce. Of course, this “friendly” terms offer does not include them owning their behavior or apologizing … Continue reading “Do not settle for being part of their “harem””
I believe God can raise the dead, but…
I believe God can and does raise the dead, but… …I still do funerals. This is my stance on marriages ravaged by infidelity. I believe some can be resurrected; however, that is a miracle. It is about as common as a funeral ending in a resurrection today. That is to say, not common. The natural … Continue reading “I believe God can raise the dead, but…”
Contrast to the usual “Christian” resources
While I am thankful for the help of some Christian resources in my dark season, I discovered most had an agenda apart from freely presenting the options. Most Christian resources–in my experience–are focused upon “saving the marriage.” This goal is pursued at the unacknowledged cost of the faithful spouse’s well-being. For these authors and pastors, … Continue reading “Contrast to the usual “Christian” resources”
Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors
4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT “Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors” This is the phrase I find myself using to describe my ministry here and in person to others in the Church. I might … Continue reading “Marital Infidelity Abuse Survivors”
Sheep and Wolves
15 “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. 16 You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act.” -Matthew 7:15-16a, NLT A common pastoral care error committed by even well-meaning leaders is to fail to recognize an important distinction: Perpetrators and Victims–a.k.a. Wolves and Sheep. … Continue reading “Sheep and Wolves”