35 Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. -Matthew 9:35-36, NIV My hurt is burdened for those who are … Continue reading “My ministry philosophy”
Category: Cheating
Need to be assertive
After learning about the cheating, it is imperative to be assertive. This is why anger is helpful. I struggled with this one, honestly. The fear of the future and wishing to avoid divorce at all costs–initially–led me to make mistakes. The advice out there for Christians–especially–is generally unhelpful with this. It has a tendency to … Continue reading “Need to be assertive”
Terror of financial dependence
The terror of financial dependence is real. One way a nasty Cheater takes out their covert anger on a faithful spouse is to use their financial power over them. When the Cheater is the primary breadwinner, a new terror enters the equation with infidelity discovery: What will I do to meet my needs if they … Continue reading “Terror of financial dependence”
Don’t want someone’s pity.
“I can tell you are still tender, healing.” -“Well-Meaning” Observer What bothers me the most about these sort of statements is how they are usually stated as a way to express compassion for the faithful spouse but really just communicate pity. Who enjoys being the object of pity?! Now, it is true that the infidelity … Continue reading “Don’t want someone’s pity.”
What went wrong? Adulterous abuse is what.
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Christians need not dig very deep to figure out what went wrong in a marriage when adultery occurred. Modern psychology and so called “Christian” counseling might disagree with me. However, I am very adamant that we do not treat adultery as a side issue or symptom to … Continue reading “What went wrong? Adulterous abuse is what.”
Thou Shalt NOT Divorce?!
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV The way many pastors preach about divorce you would be forgiven if you thought this verse from the Ten Commandments read: “Thou shalt not divorce!” This is a problem. It means we have a poor theology of marriage and divorce in our churches. Victims of adultery are … Continue reading “Thou Shalt NOT Divorce?!”
“Wilting Daisy” Ploy
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. – I Corinthians 13:11, NIV Let’s get something straight… A crushed “delicate flower” or a “bruised reed” does not have the energy … Continue reading ““Wilting Daisy” Ploy”
“I’m not gonna pick a side,” says Christian “friend.”
“I ‘m not gonna pick sides in this,” says a Christian “friend.” A person saying this is communicating to the adultery victim that they think something could justify their victimization. Let’s be clear: They ARE picking a side. It is the side of the adulterous spouse. This helps evil flourish. This is not a godly … Continue reading ““I’m not gonna pick a side,” says Christian “friend.””
Friend like the ones Job had
After the Lord had finished speaking to Job, he said to Eliphaz the Temanite: “I am angry with you and your two friends, for you have not spoken accurately about me….” -Job 42:7a, NLT THAT “friend” said all sort of things to you… …they were inaccurate about God (and you) just like Job’s friends. Sometimes this is … Continue reading “Friend like the ones Job had”
“Don’t you see that you divorced her in your heart?!”
“Don’t you see that you have divorced her in your heart?” says clueless counselor (after revelation of her confessed emotional affair). What does “divorced in your heart” even mean? When I heard something like this, I was desperate to save the marriage. The disconnect from this sort of counsel, and the reality that she was … Continue reading ““Don’t you see that you divorced her in your heart?!””