When I was separated from my cheater, I made a list. It is humiliating looking back on it. I wrote up a list of reasons for why I wanted to stay married to her (even though, I knew she was a cheater). As you might have guessed, she responded to it with contempt. In part, … Continue reading “Made a humiliating list”
Category: Cheating
PSA: The real shame is committing adultery, Pastors!
But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away. -Proverbs 6:32-33, NIV The real shame is not faithful spouses divorcing cheaters, pastors. The real shame is Christians committing adultery! Preaching or counseling against divorce is a little late when it comes … Continue reading “PSA: The real shame is committing adultery, Pastors!”
Not telling is simply lying by another name
“You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires…When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” -John 8:44a,c, NIV “Not telling” (about the adulterous affair) is simply “lying” by another name. I think Satan has a heyday with … Continue reading “Not telling is simply lying by another name”
On “a break?” Really?!
You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. -Malachi 2:14, NLT Did your cheater ever talk about needing “a … Continue reading “On “a break?” Really?!”
Why did she “HAVE TO” leave you?
“You gotta ask yourself, ‘Why did she HAVE TO leave you?’” – Cheater Apologist This is a loaded question. The person stating this is engaging in a reasoning fallacy and attempting to trap you in a less than favorable light. If you even attempt to answer the question, you will lose. No good way to … Continue reading “Why did she “HAVE TO” leave you?”
Souls are my focus!
“For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven.” -Matthew 22:30, NLT We were not made for human marriage. Our eternal relationship is primarily with God. We were designed to worship and serve Him like the angels. Some pastors … Continue reading “Souls are my focus!”
Financial Reliance
One of the hardest parts of adultery discovery and divorce is how it can be financially devastating for the faithful spouse. Cheaters know this. I think some use it as another emotional cudgel with which to beat their faithful spouse. They use their financial power to terrorize their (soon to be ex) spouse. I think … Continue reading “Financial Reliance”
Preach naked and only then will I consider following Hosea’s example!
…the Lord told Isaiah son of Amoz, “Take off the burlap you have been wearing, and remove your sandals.” Isaiah did as he was told and walked around naked and barefoot. Then the Lord said, “My servant Isaiah has been walking around naked and barefoot for the last three years.” -Isaiah 20:2-3a, NLT To the pastor insisting … Continue reading “Preach naked and only then will I consider following Hosea’s example!”
Quick test of “professionals”
Question: Do you believe cheating is abuse? Anything less than an unequivocal “Yes” is a sign that this professional will attempt to blame you for the cheating. They will engage in some version of “The Shared Responsibility Lie“–namely, you are partially or fully to blame for the cheating. It is a simple test: one question. … Continue reading “Quick test of “professionals””
An “innocent party” in divorce?
Is there such thing as an “innocent party” in a divorce? Yes. I struggled with this question when fighting to retain my minister’s license years ago. Psycho-babble (and evil along with it) is winning when we cannot identify or distinguish between the innocent party and the perpetrator. Now, I understand those who say we all … Continue reading “An “innocent party” in divorce?”