While an abusive cheater may act otherwise, he or she is NOT entitled to your agreement. They might want you to agree to a blasé narrative about why you are divorcing absent all mention of their marriage-ending sin. They might want you to agree to never bring up the cheater partner. They might want you … Continue reading “You do NOT owe them agreement!”
Category: Cheating
Once thought we were “rock solid”
Part of my blindness in my first marriage was thinking we were rock solid as a couple. Maybe you can relate? I naively believed that cheating and divorce was something that only happened to other people. It certainly wouldn’t happen to me and my marriage. That sort of thinking is what made the whole experience … Continue reading “Once thought we were “rock solid””
Had choices to make and made bad ones!
“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” -Joshua 24:15, NIV I do not buy … Continue reading “Had choices to make and made bad ones!”
Why bother?
Why bother working on a marriage where one party is treating cheating as a secondary issue? Your cheater (and anyone supporting them) is telling you how little they value your well-being when they treat the affair(s) as secondary or derivative issues to the marriage. They are deprioritizing your healing. You cannot “fix” this. The Bible … Continue reading “Why bother?”
Clergy Sexual Abuse Is SO Damaging!
2 And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon. 3 And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, “Is … Continue reading “Clergy Sexual Abuse Is SO Damaging!”
Demons are “believers,” too!
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder… You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone. -James 2:19, 24, NIV What if my Cheater claims to be a Christian?! They can claim that identity all they want. Demons believe in … Continue reading “Demons are “believers,” too!”
Validation LONG before Forgiveness talk
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. -Job 2:13, NLT Please do not underestimate how traumatic and disorienting discovering marital infidelity is! Speaking from my personal experience as well as from … Continue reading “Validation LONG before Forgiveness talk”
“Root of bitterness”
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15, NIV In order to avoid the discomfort of facing injustice and naming it as such, some Christians turn on faithful spouses calling them “bitter.” They are too spineless to … Continue reading ““Root of bitterness””
Clarity Among Confusion
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV Dealing with infidelity is incredibly confusing. The one who vowed to remain faithful to you until death do you part is behaving in very odd ways. They are supposed to … Continue reading “Clarity Among Confusion”
Crazy Counseling – Time to find someone else!
Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” -Genesis 3:12, NKJV Now, over a decade removed from the events, I shake my head as I remember what I tolerated and endured. This blog is the fruit of hard-earned lessons from that season. One of … Continue reading “Crazy Counseling – Time to find someone else!”